apiphile: fuck you and fuck your fucking face (sire & dam)
[personal profile] apiphile
Having failed to do anything apart from ouch a lot and some test writing on Thursday due to the drinkpocalypse, I then had the worst night's sleep conceivable, overslept angrily by four and a half hours, and still successfully went to the gym, did test writing (and a small snippet of robot porn set up, because I am Only Human), started defrosting the fridge - beginning MAN'S INTERMINABLE STRUGGLE AGAINST THE WORLD OF ICE which has repeatedly involved me hacking at arm-sized icebergs with a kitchen knife while naked at 12am. Listen, I don't tell you how to live YOUR life... oh, and I went to a museum late with [personal profile] ruthi, who took the instruction "museum late" as a literal piece of advice and showed up around two hours after I did (er, executive dysfunction plus hot weather equals slow friend, and it gave me the opportunity to take a lot of dodgy selfies with gay statues and do the aforementioned writing AND treat myself to a cream tea which did not hysterically fuck up my macros so no shade there; also even before the Fridge Adventure I have been eating like total shit and motivating myself to actually put anything inside my body is hard so I've not actually consumed A Vegetable for about five days and I feel like my skin is on inside-out? I did eat a fruit salad on Wednesday, I just feel it was cancelled out by the bucket of alcohol).

Anyway if you're interested in about 40 pictures and a couple of videos from the V&A last night they're here: https://www.instagram.com/derekdesanges/

(I also got a Loz postcard and some miffy pendants in the post from Nine&Lin who know me offensively well)

Today's plans have had several revisions:
1. Go to the gym: abandoned because I had two have an hour-long extension to my sleep thanks to yet another night of enraged sleeplessness (partly sleep cycle out of whack, partly intensely hot room because Jess wouldn't open the window because people in the pub outside were having a conversation and it was distracting her, and then largely because Jess a. would not stop flinging all fifty of the limbs she apparently possesses over my body when I was about to fall off the edge of the bed from trying to grab some space and b. snoring loudly enough that no mount of bluetooth headband music would drown her out). Instead: went to the supermarket and then came back and did some desultory truncated mini-workout (20 press-ups, 2 minute plank, 10 military press at 25kg).
2. Eat breakfast like a normal person: for some reason my brain was not functioning AT ALL this morning and thus I had to spend about 10 minutes wiping soya cream off literally every surface, flat or otherwise, in the vicinity, after I shook it AFTER I TOOK THE LID OFF.
3. IDK normal sane things: no, I decided to fish an old pair of jeans out of the charity pile and cut the legs off because while all my shorts are clean and mostly dry "all my shorts" is "only" three pairs plus the gym ones and "I don't think any of them are suitable". And by "suitable" I mean "I need something that will prominently display my ass" because I'm going to Duckie. Even though it's rammed in there and no one can see anything apart from my incredible saddlebags.

Still to fuck up: test writing (I was going to post yesterday's but the formatting issues are just giving me the world's biggest case of "dunwanna"; a shame because it was fairly good worldbuildery), going to Pimlico, Jamie's birthday, dancing.

Does anyone want to have a look at Draft 3 of Heavy at all?

a man with an artic tern on his head

Jun. 23rd, 2017 08:12 pm
lamentables: (Default)
[personal profile] lamentables
Proper post with proper photos coming soon, but in the meantime: we went on a boat trip around the Farne Islands today. We saw amazing things, were dive-bombed by artic terns, and got thoroughly drenched. It was fabulous.

Man with an artic tern on his head #farneislands @abrinsky

birds and seals )

Bingo card for me

NSFW Jun. 23rd, 2017 10:40 am
petra: Barbara Gordon smiling knowingly (Default)
[personal profile] petra
( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

bingo card meme

Jun. 22nd, 2017 02:11 pm
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
[personal profile] sasha_feather
Personal bingo meme that people are playing on Twitter and elsewhere!

You can google "bingo card generator" and fill one out with your interests. Then you can use a photo editor to check off interests that you have too.

My card is also at Flickr:
https://flic.kr/p/VL1xcd

Screen Shot 2017-06-21 at 2.37.46 PM

transcription )

forgot this GEM

Jun. 22nd, 2017 07:16 pm
apiphile: (maurice)
[personal profile] apiphile
yesterday a man punched me excitedly in the arm out of fucking nowhere and yelled at me that my (sun)glasses were fucking great, which was lovely, but SOMEWHAT STARTLING.

you know normally when someone yells about my clothes in an approving way they're: a) female and b) not hitting me??
apiphile: (did it on purpose)
[personal profile] apiphile
gym
haircut
"i'll just walk there" it's 31C you are wearing plastic flipflops and you have a limited timeframe so you can't take it easy what actual part of your brain thought this was an acceptable idea you flay-footed fuck
"just walk to tottenham court road we have plenty of time" (at least we got to visit the museum of the order of st john while the garden was actually open: https://www.instagram.com/p/BVmsvViBBan/?taken-by=derekdesanges it is a beautiful tiny oasis in clerkenwell)
charlie decided we needed a large bottle of gin and i decided we needed a small bottle of gin and what with the two bottles of wine we went through before chris arrived and the half a bottle of pimms, i was right and he wasn't
definitely very allergic to grass my entire torso looks like someone's been firing angry cats at it
we did not feed the parakeets because we were too drunk and i am 500% delighted that i do not remember the majority of the conversation i am only very annoyed that i remember having to pee in the trees
went back to chris's in a valiant attempt to sober up a bit. how this actually worked: charlie drank a litre of water and threw up five times and was still incomprehensibly drunk. chris arbitrarily smashed a glass, i was directed to drink about half a bottle of gin and hung out of a majillionth floor window of a tower block in paddington watching the sun set over london on midsummer's day while waxing aggressively pretentious
we tried to go to g-a-y late, which somehow involved being in a restaurant on wardour street briefly which i largely remember because i have a receipt; chris informs me they both started nicking stuff the minute my back was turned but thankfully i was concentrating too hard on trying to understand salad to really notice
g-a-y late wouldn't let us in. not because *i* was monumentally drunk. not because charlie couldn't remember his own face. no, because chris, probably the most sober of us (who'd also had to put my nose piercing back in for me) "was too drunk"; we decided the bouncer was actually just wildly prejudiced against slavs and complained loudly about this all the way to Heaven, which was shut; we ate the peanuts we'd bought for the parakeets all the way to the RVT, which was also shut. Union briefly tried to tell me my PASSPORT WASN'T VALID ID? but we got in, which seems like a waste of time because it was almost empty and at least three of the people who *were* in there were straight; we left in the hopes of making an entire last hour in XXL / Pulse @ SE1 (bear night) but didn't get there (would probably have been fucking empty anyway WHAT IS WRONG WITH LONDON does NO ONE go midweek clubbing anymore) and found ourselves, eventually, in Bar Italia (Charlie demanded we go because he's never been and the Pulp song).
Bar Italia is very expensive. We sat there eating a cheese melt and yelling at Genesis videos in absolute delight before making our way home.
Oh you think the evening is over? Stopped for chicken from Hardies, AKA "how not to have a hangover" (the other part of not having a hangover is to drink water every time you wake up and take a paracetamol the FIRST time you wake up, then keep sleeping until you're not ill, I am pretty sure at least 50% of hangover is just being tired), and on the way back to the house ended up in a lengthy conversation about the overall shitness of men with a junkie-in-remission who was wearing a rainbow bra and accidentally killed her boyfriend's cactus.
My brain politely decided to wake me up repeatedly to inform me that I "probably have eye herpes now and will go blind" but I recognise "alcohol panic" when i see it (more or less) and just went back to bed.

here i am regretting my choice to remove all the skin from the tops of my feet and foolishly thinking this was the dumbest injury i was going to get this week (i have since SUNBURNT MY MOUTH): https://www.instagram.com/p/BVms6cdBl6f/?taken-by=derekdesanges
here is charlie consuming his fourth or fifth glass of wine: https://www.instagram.com/p/BVo8S8nhWkX/?taken-by=derekdesanges

Anyway it took me until about four to start on the test writing and I've had to bow out of a social engagement this evening (partly because I don't want to go anywhere further away than the pub on the corner and partly because it is like standing inside a boiled bollock today - about 10C cooler but also 100% more humid - and partly because the friend I was meant to be seeing subluxed her knee this morning - she has EDS - and I didn't think we'd get the best out of socialising while one of us was sweating gin and the other was having pain sweats), but I've done it, so here it is:

Read more... )

... I started trying to fix the font on that but it involves removing so much crap it's really not worth it.

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