(no subject)

[nny]

I've been reading a lot of posts about feminism lately, but I think the link that has hit me hardest is this article on men who patronise.

"...billions of women are out there on this 6-billion-person planet being told that they are not reliable witnesses to their own lives, that the truth is not their property, now or ever."

It describes my two flatmates perfectly, see, and that's been driving me mad for months now.

See, the thing is, if I want to engage in discussion with them I must be absolutely right in every way. I must know my facts perfectly and have my arguments sorted out, otherwise I'm just metaphorically petted on the head for trying to talk to the Menfolk. Needless to say, their mistakes are either brushed off or 'misunderstandings' on my part.

The second, related aspect to this is that I cannot ever call them on their behaviour and have them take me seriously because they interact with my labels and not with me. First and foremost, they interact with me as a bisexual and as a feminist, something I rarely call myself but clearly am - and the fact that they label me as a feminist, something definitively negative in their heads, merely because I correct some of their assumptions/language/behaviour at times is a whole other argument - and not just as a person with an opinion.

I should... clarify this, post with links and stuff, but I have no one to talk it through with and thoughts just bouncing around inside my own head only ever come out garbled. Someday I'll have to train myself not to get freaked out by AIM.


ETA: unamaga linked me to this, and apparently he's considered something of an expert and has followers. I am very, very serious about this: Can we have him killed?

Please note: I am hoping like hell that someone will tell me that this is some enormous piss take and I've been suckered. Seriously. But - from the amount of websites, from wikipedia, it's not looking like it.

Comments

[unamaga.livejournal.com]

I've all but given up on a lot of the guys in my life - not that there are many, per say - because, yes, their idea of an intellectual conversation consists mainly of me talking at them uselessly and then them patting me on the head and going, "That's nice, dear, now run along and play with your toys."

So, yeah, I know what you mean.

[ashen_key]

That is dealing with my dad.

Which is why I tend to keep silent.

[innerbrat]

Uh huh.

I dealt with it by always being right. Uh - it's a very stressful road to take.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Meet the reason I try to avoid talking to men who think they're more intelligent than I am.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Urgh. Okay, the last few are actually fine within the context of the "dating game", which I don't get but many people apparently do, so. But "escalating"? What is that shit? That is fucking creepy.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I suspect 'the dating game' is why I've been single for pretty much my entire life.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

I don't mind because nobody as weird as me is likely to play it, and dating someone normal would be boring. I figure I'll just do my stuff and eventually meet someone awesome who is doing the same kind of stuff, just sort of by osmosis. Or, you know, whatever.

[winkingstar.livejournal.com]

GRAH. I am not the kind of person who gets angry easily, it takes a lot to piss me off, but all the shit that's been posted this week has been of the sort where I read one paragraph and want to hurt people. I do not like feeling like that, which makes me hate the stupid people even more. God. D:

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, patronization. I fucking hate it. I usually went with the "I'm really scary and will hurt you" route when that came up. It has it's own downsides, but I didn't get patronized again?

And no. I've come across that jackass before and unfortunately, he isn't a joke :(

[elizabeth perry (from livejournal.com)]

I deal with it by (a) staying mostly in the company of women, no lie, (b) acting with utter assholish conviction when I do interact with men (note: spending time with women has given me a template for this, I refuse to change my behavior just because they are male; either I am 'acting like a man' when I do this or I am 'treating them like women' I'm not sure which, but it *works*). I have shouted men down with statistics and facts that are totally bogus and have convinced them by dint of my refusal to back down or concede any of my points; after all, if I were in any way doubtful, I wouldn't behave like this, would I?

[wyrmie.livejournal.com]

Hi, lurker here.

I actually had a conversation with someone about the pick-up thing last night, and found it to be extremely disturbing. The additionally disturbing thing is that apparently? It works. *shudder*

[ashen_key]

You turn to her and say “Oh my god, I can’t take you anywhere,” as you sigh. “Go wait in the car.”

Wait, WHAT? He can't....he can't be...*splutters*

I would very probably start crying at that. At the very least get upset. Because I'm senstive and highly-strung in public settings and clumsy as it is and, just. What.

WHY WOULD ANYONE GO OUT WITH THIS GUY.