I've got it under control!

Sigh. I had a story, the first paragraph, and now it's gone. It was in my head walking to the subway. And I thought I could grab it again...when I got on my computer tonight. But alas, it's gone. It'll come back again if need be. I may have to purchase the Tiles Survival Video Game to reprise it.

I learned a valuable lesson this week? When correcting someone or editing, be careful of tone. This is easier said than done? I am doing a lot of editing now - and it requires a lot of patience. Often I am correcting the same mistakes over and over and over again. And the mistakes from my perspective appear to be obvious? Like how can they not know this? And I often have to re-write my comments, and rewrite my emails multiple times, to ensure that my tone is okay.

On the internet it's remarkably easy to screw up with tone, resulting in miscommunications and fights and hurt feelings.

I've been corrected this week - by people who were careful with their tone, and by people who either don't understand tone or aren't careful. Precision in words doesn't always matter as much as how you choose to phrase them. After all, if your phrasing and tone is off - then your reader isn't understanding your words and they fall on death ears. Your intentions will be misunderstood.

I define tone by how I write the sentence. Not just the words that I chose, but the actual phrasing. I think of writing as a means of communicating thoughts, expression, emotion, facts, and information among other things (that I can't think of at the moment), and tone conveys the writers intent to the reader. Also emotion can affect tone - if you are writing from a place of frustration, irritation, impatience, or rage - it will be reflected in your tone. Because you aren't speaking orally - the emotion or intent often has to be conveyed through phrasing.

I've learned that tone in writing matters. So many miscommunications happen because of tone. I've lost count of the number of posts and comments that I've either walked away from or deleted because of the tone. Or the number of correspondents that I've parted ways with because of tone. When my tone is condescending or patronizing - I shut down the listener or reader - they stop hearing me. They stop reading. Instead of engaging their mind, I've engaged their emotions.

Writing carefully takes practice. It's an art. And it is hard to do on social media. I struggle with it. Some are better at it than others. It of course helps if you don't write in anger or frustration.

So many on the internet write carelessly, with little to no regard to the reader. You should care about the reader. We aren't posting our words to the abyss. And as a reader, you should care about the writer.

We should ask ourselves prior to responding directly to any post on the internet - whether it wise? Is it useful? Is it kind? Can we write our response in a way that the reader will respond favorably, and not get upset? Would we respond favorably to that response or comment or would we respond in anger? Do not post anything that makes you think you are clever or smarter or better than another. Or makes you feel superior to the person who posted? Leave your ego at the curb.

This is also hard to do in internet correspondence. I think sometimes it is really hard for people to hear each other? They are so caught up in their own heads they can't hear the other person?

I saw this great little bit on FB recently, where the commentator stated that "when someone is sharing their story with you - listen to it, without thinking about your own. Our tendency is to want to share our own similar story with the other person, as opposed to just hearing and responding to theirs. An example is - if I were to show you around my home or office, and your immediate response is - let me show you mine now."

I'm trying to get better at all of these things. But alas I am a work in progress as are we all. I'm also trying to forgive and be patient with those at work, on DW, in personal life, facebook, fandom, social media platforms, what have you - whose tone is often condescending and hurtful - and try to remember I don't know what their day was like? I don't know what they are feeling right now? Maybe a loved one died? Maybe work pissed them off? Maybe they want to lash out at the world?

It is hard sometimes, I think, to remember this? That in the end, we are all just doing time on planet earth the best that we are able. And sometimes we need to vent into the void without anyone kicking us for it?

[All comments have been disabled.]

Work and my commute are attempting to take bites out of my good mood, along with a potential rainy weather pattern coming into NYC for tomorrow. But I persevere and the cheeriness continues for the most part.

So too are various areas of the internet at work and at home, but not DW (so no worries).

1. MSN's browser at work throws stories at me - one was the headline: Woman's Hike Through Texas' Big Bend National Park Turns into a Nightmare. Thinking for a quick getaway from people and in nature, in the rarely visited park, a woman suddenly finds herself surrounded by hundreds of tiny animals and stumbles into a nightmare.

Trying to figure out what "tiny animals" would surround you and terrify you, I of course took a peek?

Sigh. I really wish I hadn't.

I'm arachnophobic - so no, I didn't read any more of the article (not because I can't read about spiders) - it had pictures. I can't look at pictures of spiders. They couldn't have written the article without the pictures? No, of course not. It's the internet. I hate the internet. It is doing a really good job of biting into my good mood. Fuck you, internet.

2. I apparently liked a few Buffy posts on FB, so FB keeps throwing all things Buffy related at me. Today it threw an Instagram Post by the guy who played Parker Abrhams on Buffy in S4, and who was also on Dawson's Creek shortly thereafter - he was posting a tribute to the lead of Dawson's who died recently from cancer. The gist? ( Read more... )

3. And MSN keeps throwing the following at me at work:

* how to prepare for retirement with $1M in 401 K or IRA and $2,465 Social Security. (Sigh, if I had $1M in 401K - I'd have retired already.)

* The best small towns or places to retire in every state. (They all have one thing in common? You need a car. I don't drive.)

* If you travel you shouldn't use a hard suitcase with wheels since it is banned in certain European countries, (Apparently for noise pollution and wear and tear on cobblestone streets? Too many tourists wandering about with baggage at all times at night.)

* No, it is better to have one since a back pack or duffel is hard on your back and you can't pack as much. (I wish people would make up their minds.)

* If you travel to these 20 countries - you will need an electronic visa or electronic authorization ahead of time - and provide before you get on the plane. (So what happens if your phone dies en route? Oh, brings up a story mother told me the other day - a man was denied passage on a cruise because he brought the wrong passport. He accidentally packed the expired passport as opposed to the new one. This is after traveling by bus all the way down to Miami, with people from the retirement center. Mother didn't seem to know what happened next, except that he turned down the offer to catch up with the cruise in New Orleans. He needed it for Mexico.)

* TSA has changed its rules and you need to ensure you do these 12 things, and not bring these things...

Sigh. Now I'm afraid to retire and travel. The stupid internet is stressful. I miss the days in which I didn't know all this crap.

***

It's also throwing television shows at me. Netflix has apparently added more shows. And the internet wants me to watch Sharp Objects on HBO, which it has decided is the best and most twisty thriller ever. ( Read more... )

Me and the Internet are at cross-purposes at the moment? I think AI has made the internet worse?

***

What else should I complain about?

I don't know what to read next. That's not a complaint. Right now I'm reading or trying out Illona Andrews latest novel - Inheritance, which they'd initially wrote as a lark or a serialized novella, no more than 12,000 words for their blog. But alas, it's become a two-book series. And they had to add a lot of world building. It reads a bit like a post-apocalyptic survival video game, actually, with banter. I can tell the writers played a lot of video games during the pandemic. Survival video games have become a thing - now. The internet was flinging those at me as well. And I'm admittedly tempted but afraid to put that on my phone or computer. Maybe the ipad? (No, Inheritance is not a video game - I switched tracks in mid-paragraph.)

The book, Inheritance, is about ( Read more... )

I'm hoping I don't regret grabbing Ministry of Time - I didn't know it was about the same thing the Terror television series is about when I purchased it. It doesn't tell you that. Hmm. Oh well, maybe it won't be an issue?

***

Took some long walks yesterday and today - first in a long time - at work location. First was up to the cherry blossoms on Pier 15, turns out they are fake cherry blossoms - so not worth the trip or tickets. (Why fake? I don't know, it's NY? It is odd though - I mean it's not like we don't have actual cherry blossoms in several botanical gardens, parks, and a cemetery in late March/early April? Maybe they got desperate and wanted to do it now?) The green houses are tiny, and claustrophobic, and you couldn't pay me to sit in one of them for dinner.

I have a picture of it - see below and assuming you can see it - let me know what you think?



The other walk will have to wait until tomorrow. Since long past bedtime for me. Good night all.