Way more fun than the mood box

[nny]

When I came back into the room, William was practically fellating the chess piece. It is one of the surest signs that he's losing, but since I had recognised his offence at least seven moves ago and engineered my play accordingly, it came as no great surprise.

"Bored, Will?" I asked, setting his tea down in front of him. He started, and the bishop clacked noisily against his teeth.

"Quite thoroughly and comprehensively," he told me, "or, as the peasants will have it, shitless, my dear boy. Absolutely shitless."