(no subject)

[nny]

So unfortunately the kid I work with became, today, my little hater (tm Jay Smooth) made flesh. Every bad thought I have about myself echoed from outside.

"You're gonna be a shit teacher, miss."

"Everyone you teach is gonna hate you."

"I can't wait until you leave Gloucester."

"You've got no friends."

"You've never had a boyfriend right?"

"You're sad."

"You have no TV? You're so boring."

"I'll have a party when you're gone, my life will be so much better."

"Nobody likes you."

"Why you been crying, miss?"

Why indeed.

I can't deal with people today, apologies.

Comments

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

*cuddles you close* He found a weakness and exploited it, love. I wish knowing that would make the hurt go away :(

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Yeah, so he knows how to say hurtful things to you. They're not the truth. He just wants to lash out at someone.

(And you know that, too)

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I know that. Believing that is a little more difficult. When people say the things the headvoicehate says it is harder to dismiss.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Logically I know? Harder to believe. :(

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Oh I know. But he's saying it because it hurts, not because it's true. And it hurts because you're afraid of it, not because it's true.

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. It's like I don't care how many times people tell me that I'm not useless and I'm not ugly - the one person who tells me I'm either one I hear a lot longer than I hear the others. It's how we're programmed.

But he's a little shit and I wish there was some way for me to transatlantically smack him for you. I'm not a teacher, and I can totally beat the assault charges, I'm sure.

[dramaturgca.livejournal.com]

*KICKS HIM*


*HUGS AND HUGS AND MORE HUGS*

[skygiants]

:(

<333333333333333333333333333333333333333

:(

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It's very hard to break through that, because kids like that basically hate themselves and try to turn it on you. The next time he tries that shit, stare straight at him, yawn in his face and ask him when he's planning to stop boring you and start doing his work.

(Did I mention I was glad I'm done with teaching? *sigh*)

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

The boy in the yard is standing as tall as his clearly-older-than-every-other-student frame allows, head cocked back and held high. The words that come out of his mouth aren't completely audible, but it's not difficult to apply a river of faintly reeking poison like some cute cartoons - and he still totally watches cartoons, because they're cinematic, too - do, in place of those inaudible words.

The girl he's talking to isn't a girl, either, but Tony's not even sure he cares about that.

"Hi!" he calls out, boisterous and loud, heading over and accidentally-on-purpose knocking the kid onto his hands and knees. He'd been aiming for over, but he'll take this as kismet. "Sorry to interfere, ma'am," he continues, still too loud and too overly cheerful, kicking out his leg in between the kids so his attempts at standing become painfully futile, "but I need some information about a perp we're chasing and the principle said you know him. A student you work with a lot?"

And then he flashes his badge.

It's not much. Some kids - smarter and savvier than this petulant looking brat - would start hollering over police brutality and all the shock-jock things kids learn with mother's milk, it sometimes seems like, in today's world.

Not this kid. This one cringes, certain one of the hundred petty, horrible things he's done is worthy of police attention and Tony's not interested in dissuading him.

Instead he knocks him down again. Fate hears him and this time the kid lands on his face.

"Ma'am?" he asks, offering his arm. She blushes prettily and Tony's fixedly charming grin softens into something more appreciative. She's young, and unsure of how to deal with pissants like this, but the way she steps over his struggling legs to go off with Tony shows a lot of promise.

As he walks away, he hears, "I give it an 8.5," from Ziva. McGee scoffs, because he's slow on the uptake and mutters something about police brutality. Ziva hushes him. "That's not what this is about."

"He knocked that kid down!"

Tim's lucky that the kid is long gone, by now, and can't hear a word in his defense. As it is, Tony knows he's got some 'splaining to do, to the boss.

Or maybe not. Ziva snorts, as loudly and inelegantly as the lady she is. "And that excuse for a child deserved it. Never forget, McGee. Tony is a horrible little man who enjoys tormenting his friends - but only his friends."

[catwalksalone]

Oh, exactly this.

And kids like him do it to teachers/support assistants all the time, especially new ones, they don't really care who it is, that's not important. And even if you don't have the headvoicehate it STILL hurts. Because it's a well-aimed arrow and we like to be liked and appreciated. But you ARE liked and appreciated--that's come through loud and clear in posts you've made on other days. Fuck him. Fuck him up his stupid ass.

*hugs and hugs*

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

Some day in the future, I hope, that kid is going to really, really want a time machine to unsay that.

I'm sorry, lovely. If it helps, everything I've ever known of you says to me that the comments above are right: that the headhate voice says it doesn't make it true, that a kid trying to get through your defences said it doesn't make it true.

*HUGS SO MUCH*

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

*hugs* just think of the sad twisted little life he has ahead of him with that attitude already..

[crysothemis.livejournal.com]

+2

apiphile has hit it exactly on the head.

He saw it was hurting you, and he twisted the knife. And it's coming from his own pain, his own inability to cope with school.

But this chorus you're seeing here, telling you it's not true? We're not the self-esteem boosters club. We're your friends, and we value you for exactly who you are.

*hugs*

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

What she said. Also, *hugs*

[rikkitsune.livejournal.com]

Children can be so observant, and therefore, so cruel.

I had one ask me when my chicken pox was going to heal, as I was desperately trying to hide my rather embarrassing dermatitis on my cheeks. It nearly destroyed me.

I work with teachers every day in my job, and I know a shit one when I see one. The shit ones wouldn't even be bothered by comments like that, because they truly couldn't care less about their jobs one way or the other.

The GOOD ones care about what their students think, and never stop trying, and dedicare their lives to self-improvement. They are the sensitive ones that want to help.

You, my dear, are going to be a very good teacher.

[naye]

*snuggles hard*

It's like he can smell weakness, and goes right for the throat. Yikes. I don't even want to imagine what shaped a kid like that - and I really hate that he's allowed to do this to you. You deserve much, much better! That's clear by the way in which you engage in your students, and it's not your fault they're teenagers and boys and too dumb to appreciate you. *hugs*

[in-the-blue.livejournal.com]

*hugs you hard* People learn to suck at such a young age. I'm sorry he took it out on you.

[ariadne83]

*frowns disapprovingly at the little hater* Bad kiddie, no biscuit!

*hugs you*

[strange-selkie.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[bethan-b-bad.livejournal.com]

OH NNY. <3

Everything Del said, seriously. ILU.