(no subject)
Mar. 7th, 2013 07:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nnyI interviewed to continue doing my job today.
I didn't get it.
Basically what was said was this:
my planning was excellent, my knowledge of pedagogy was excellent, my differentiation was excellent but my performance of the lesson was lacking.
This is interesting on two fronts.
#1: story of my life hello overthinking, which is the boring 'woe is me' self pitying answer, obviously. There's a grain of truth to it, though.
#2: it was a performance. My best lessons are just about talking to the kids; planning isn't something that works for me as a whole. I am a communicator and an entertainer, and as a result I am a popular teacher, but I have been doing this for five years and I'm genuinely not getting any better at the organisation side of things. I know how to be a good teacher by the book, and I can be a good teacher not by the book, and I can't do both at once. Especially not when you add the nearly thirty hours of marking a week I have to do in order to meet the necessary standards as well.
(I've been pretty much working 50 hour weeks plus extra at home for at least a term now. I mean, occasional breaks but mostly they've been too tired to do anything, so that's pretty much why I say nothing and produce nothing these days).
I'm looking at maybe teaching older kids? But I don't know that I have the necessary qualifications. And it's possible an entirely different career path is called for. I'm going to seek some career advice - just as soon as I work out where to do that (maybe the job center?)
I'm disappointed in myself and I'm trying very hard not to fall into self-flagellation because frankly just thinking I'm shit is the easy option. It leads to crying and no progress. I'm too old for that, and I deserve better.
I didn't get it.
Basically what was said was this:
my planning was excellent, my knowledge of pedagogy was excellent, my differentiation was excellent but my performance of the lesson was lacking.
This is interesting on two fronts.
#1: story of my life hello overthinking, which is the boring 'woe is me' self pitying answer, obviously. There's a grain of truth to it, though.
#2: it was a performance. My best lessons are just about talking to the kids; planning isn't something that works for me as a whole. I am a communicator and an entertainer, and as a result I am a popular teacher, but I have been doing this for five years and I'm genuinely not getting any better at the organisation side of things. I know how to be a good teacher by the book, and I can be a good teacher not by the book, and I can't do both at once. Especially not when you add the nearly thirty hours of marking a week I have to do in order to meet the necessary standards as well.
(I've been pretty much working 50 hour weeks plus extra at home for at least a term now. I mean, occasional breaks but mostly they've been too tired to do anything, so that's pretty much why I say nothing and produce nothing these days).
I'm looking at maybe teaching older kids? But I don't know that I have the necessary qualifications. And it's possible an entirely different career path is called for. I'm going to seek some career advice - just as soon as I work out where to do that (maybe the job center?)
I'm disappointed in myself and I'm trying very hard not to fall into self-flagellation because frankly just thinking I'm shit is the easy option. It leads to crying and no progress. I'm too old for that, and I deserve better.
