I don't think I can be a decent writer until I learn to admit - to myself, more than anything - that I have feelings. I write about them in my journal and then lock them up somewhere, I don't experience them. Write what you know, and all, and I know nothing. Faking being human ain't gonna cut it if I want to affect people in any way.
I do want to write. None of my behaviour supports that, I realise that; I go out of my way to avoid writing, as a matter of fact. But some of my ideas - they're good enough that I'm scared of screwing them up, but they're also good enough that the idea of them not existing as a finished story upsets me. Possibly this is arrogance, but I think in some respects I could do with a little more of that.
'course, I'm twenty four and I'm pretty set in my ways. And I'm always vaguely depressed by all the amazing writers on LJ who're years younger than me, and that makes me think I'm past it and there's really no point. It's another of those self defencey things - making no effort so that no one notices when you fail.
Gonna have to write out that Gneil quote about making mistakes, somewhere large and visible. Gonna have to aim for the day when I don't have to read it any more, and I'm gonna have to do that by not just sticking it up on the wall and then ignoring it in the hopes it'll sink in by osmosis.
I dunno. You have any advice?
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