nny | (no subject)

For

linnpuzzle.

1. Thou shalt not Holy Water carry, neither a Flaming Sword. Also, on a secondary and entirely unrelated note, thou shalt not Play with thine Lighter in such a provoking fashion especially when thou art so close to the Books. Thou shan't succeed at distracting me, so stop trying.
2. Thou shalt stop writing like a ponce.
3. Oh very well. I was just aiming for a sense of occasion.
3(ii). You missed.
3(iii). Fine. You write one.
4. No cream cakes in the Bentley. No food in the Bentley, actually. Or drinks. In fact, even if you're chewing you're going to have to wait outside, or you can forget about the lifts to book fairs.
5. ~~One time and you never let me - alright, twice, but there were extenuating -~~ Oh, very well. Three times. By the same token, then, you're not allowed to eat in the shop. The back room, certainly, but I'm getting rather sick of finding crumbs in the de Sade.
6. No singing along to 'We Are the Champions' without developing a sense of irony.
7. When picking up the cheque at the Ritz, it must actually be paid. Just because you're an angel doesn't mean you have to be a fool.
8. Pick up the cheque at the Ritz.
9. ... Materialism has always been your arena.
9. (ii) Then you don't get to take the moral high ground.
9. (iii) I needn't really respond to that, I think.
9. (iv) Oh, yes. Hilarious.
9. (v) I thought so.
9. (vi) Irony and sarcasm.
10. No gluing my spare change to the pavement.
11. No use of the 'i' word more than once a week.
12. No dumping of unfortunate plants on my doorstep. I always manage to trip on them.
13. No currying favour with the ducks. Wait until I can come.
13 (ii). It is rather more enjoyable with two. Especially on sunny days.
13 (iii). Like today?
13 (iv). To be continued, then.