100 words

Nov. 7th, 2010 02:36 pm
nny: (under the skin)
[personal profile] nny
Nothing to worry about, happens all the time.
Well, not all the – it’s going to be fine.
The little buggers crawl in and they head for the heat
And the ear canal’s filled with the tromping of feet –
Sounds like an army with boots made of lead
But only because it’s on the inside of your head!
Huh. Just a second, I’ve seen something queer –
A small tear at the edge of the drum of your ear.
And now it’s found somewhere for its eight legs to hide –
Oh god. Oh Jesus Christ. I think it was coming from inside.

Date: 2010-11-07 06:02 pm (UTC)
happydork: A graph-theoretic tree in the shape of a dog, with the caption "Tree (with bark)" (Default)
From: [personal profile] happydork
*shudders*

Date: 2010-11-07 02:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strangecreature.livejournal.com
Ahhhh, AHHHHH!!! *horror-flail-dance* Well, now I'm sitting here with a :C face, plugging my ears, thank you so much... XD

It's possible that I may be having reading-fail, but I feel like the sixth line would scan better if you dropped the "on the"...?

Date: 2010-11-07 02:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] villainny.livejournal.com
No, I agree totally, it's just difficult to get a poem into exactly 100 words. I might fiddle around with the wording later. XD

Date: 2010-11-07 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] strangecreature.livejournal.com
Oh, duh! *facepalm* I completely forgot about the 100-word aspect of it!

Date: 2010-11-07 03:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] villainny.livejournal.com
Usually I'm not so precise, but I'm really enjoying the challenge of this. Plus forcing myself to finish things is totally a step towards being better at the whole writing thing, so there will be worrying drabbles for the rest of the momth, fingers crossed...

Date: 2010-11-07 03:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roadnotes.livejournal.com
AIEEEEE!

I just wandered by from [livejournal.com profile] rm's reading list. You have written a really good poem, that has just squicked the bejesus out of me.

Date: 2010-11-07 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] polkadotskirt.livejournal.com
OH OH OH ARRRRGH OH NO OHHOHOH.

I've really enjoyed all of these so far I've just been bad and not commented to say so.

Date: 2010-11-07 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] villainny.livejournal.com
Hee, oh I'm sorry for the squickage!

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