(no subject)
Jan. 20th, 2007 10:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nnyI DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRACTICE.
Seriously, this is a genuine failing. I CANNA DO IT, CAP'N! I just. Brain, she say - if you practice, it means you are not good. Brain, she say - well, we could practice, but we'll just end up failing anyway, so let's just coast as far as we can and then give up, right? I got to grade five piano doing maybe ten/twenty minutes of practice a week. I write things into the update box and rarely go back and edit. I've revised for every exam of my life in a very limited way the night before. I just don't know how to do it. Same way I can't think about things before I do them. I spend the time between scrabble turns singing and staring vaguely around the room and making faces at the other players, not thinking about my letters until it's my turn. I don't think things through before I say them/make posts about them. I've never quite worked out how contemplation works.
And then the funny part comes when I resent the fact that people are better at things than me, even though I have never put in one tenth of the effort. *HEADDESK*
This is frustrating me right now because I'm scared I won't get charactervoices right for SG:A fic, but I can't practice and I can't write anything until I can get the voices right but I'm scared I won't...
The answer to this is so simple. Nike, in fact: JUST DO IT. (I write this stuff so I can pretend it's dealt with and I don't have to try any more). In so many areas of my life I am improving, but this is the big hurdle and it's still there. It's not going anywhere. This is what I want to change, this year.
Kick my arse about it, yes?
Seriously, this is a genuine failing. I CANNA DO IT, CAP'N! I just. Brain, she say - if you practice, it means you are not good. Brain, she say - well, we could practice, but we'll just end up failing anyway, so let's just coast as far as we can and then give up, right? I got to grade five piano doing maybe ten/twenty minutes of practice a week. I write things into the update box and rarely go back and edit. I've revised for every exam of my life in a very limited way the night before. I just don't know how to do it. Same way I can't think about things before I do them. I spend the time between scrabble turns singing and staring vaguely around the room and making faces at the other players, not thinking about my letters until it's my turn. I don't think things through before I say them/make posts about them. I've never quite worked out how contemplation works.
And then the funny part comes when I resent the fact that people are better at things than me, even though I have never put in one tenth of the effort. *HEADDESK*
This is frustrating me right now because I'm scared I won't get charactervoices right for SG:A fic, but I can't practice and I can't write anything until I can get the voices right but I'm scared I won't...
The answer to this is so simple. Nike, in fact: JUST DO IT. (I write this stuff so I can pretend it's dealt with and I don't have to try any more). In so many areas of my life I am improving, but this is the big hurdle and it's still there. It's not going anywhere. This is what I want to change, this year.
Kick my arse about it, yes?
