(no subject)

[nny]

It's kind of turning into a slow, doleful descent into winter and I'm not entirely sure what to do about that to make it better. I'm buried under an unending slow avalanche of work, I have a story that depresses me with how much it needs to be fixed, I get absolutely no hugs at all in this city and that's making me ridiculously sad and there's this whole thing where I've never lived with Boys before.

They are referred to collectively as the Boys because they act all of about ten years old and - while I realise that they're just teasing and trying to get a rise out of me, often - I don't like them well enough and they don't know me well enough to get away with some of the things they come out with. I have learned also not to go drinking with them, after hearing the kind of discussion points they get into; I'd fight the corner of anyone-not-white-and-male-and-middle-class if I didn't have to live with them for a year - and I do, when I'm not drunk and likely to get a little too angry. Mostly my role seems to be poking them and letting them know that actually, yes, that's hugely offensive right there, which generally leads to them accusing me of not having a sense of humour. Which is kind of the worst thing an English person can hear about themselves, seriously, and makes me sad - partly because I do totally worry about being very dull and humourless, very frequently, and partly because the hiding behind jokes thing is so frequently used as an inadequate excuse. There's this whole argument from Post-Structuralists (I think) that language shapes reality, and they're not talking a reality that I can get behind. And genuine humour is not the same thing as just saying 'I was joking!' after you see the expression on someone's face.

Comments

[the-oscar-cat.livejournal.com]

ok 1. if you are talking about the story that i think you're talking about, then grab me, and we'll can gab about it. because seriously, i really like it.

2. genuine humour is not the same thing as just saying 'I was joking!' after you see the expression on someone's face.

Yes. OMG yes.

3. There are guys you just shouldn't go drinking with. I went drinking with aload of them on saturday. except i wasn't drinking. i really wanted to by the end of it though. *sigh*

i suggest making your room as nest like as you can, and not taking any crap.

*hug*

[flyakate]

I suggest comfy pillows, blankets and tea, in any combination, for all of the above situations.

Drinking with people that make you upset is no good. Don't do it. It will only make you feel worse (especially because alcohol is a depressant anyway *is scientific*)

If you need/want help with the story, let me know! I love helping.

And here's a biiiiiiiiiig HUG >--0 0--<
U

[lucythedragon.livejournal.com]

I was hanging out with a group of Boys for a while. While it was a fascinating look into a totally different demographic, it got pretty damn tiring after a while trying to constantly let them know that, no, being offensive doesn't make you honest or funny, it just makes you a douchebag. I wouldn't worry too much about their opinions, because if they can't take it when people disagree with them, or point out what's wrong with their thinking, well then that just makes them pussies as well. Sorry you have to put up with it for a year. :(

Advice front: I don't think disagreeing with people makes you without humor. Use some of that celebrated English wit (see, this is me pretending I know anything about being English) to turn their arguments back around on them. Then you will be not!dull and you get to pwn them. Awesome!

And I know how it feels to go a while without hugs. *sends you good vibe astral hugs* If that helps at all. ♥

[liz666.livejournal.com]

When you come up sweetie I'll be your hug bitch-click your fingers and I'll give you huge squeezes.

Boys are immature and stupid *slaps you*

[liz666.livejournal.com]

NOOO!!

Not slaps you, never, slaps them, SLAPS THEM!!

[amphibienne.livejournal.com]

I'm sending you many internet hugs (woe. I so wish I could give you real hugs. Why are you so far away?)

Dull and humourless is something you certainly aren't. You're fun an adorable and smart and I can listen to you for hours. And you have an excellent sense of humour. One thing I really love about English Humour is that people make fun of themselves as much as they make fun of other people, and it looks like these boys just enjoy insulting other people. Which is NOT genuine humour, I totally agree with you.

[unravels.livejournal.com]

Boys are stupid.

Well, some of them are. These fit into that category. :/

[kenovay.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

You should come visit me! It would be awesome.

[genarti]

You are so very much not dull and humorless.

They sound like they're the humorless ones -- as you say, offensiveness followed by "come on, I was just joking!" is not the same thing as actual humor. I would get very rapidly annoyed at them too. (Especially since, dude, potentially offensive humor is something you work up to when you're getting to know someone, especially if you're going to be living with them or otherwise associating long-term.) And you are well within your rights to get mad, and to avoid them at times when they're going to be annoying and offensive like that.

There are people to not go drinking with, and it sounds like these guys are among them; if it's not fun, it's just plain draining. (And for those of us who are introverts anyway, making that flip from "fun social interaction" to "tiring unwelcome social interaction" is really easy sometimes.)

Bleh, is what I say.