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Feb. 19th, 2009 08:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nnyOH HAI. I am in one of those moods where I judge my worth entirely by LJ comments and/or inbox activity. I totally suspect that more people than'd admit it have moods like this. Too much cleaning and not enough company today, plus the 13 bites on my upper back kinda destroyed my sleep last night.
My cure for this? Castiel.
Yup.
(Dinnae spoil me, I'm starting at the very beginning.)
My cure for this? Castiel.
Yup.
(Dinnae spoil me, I'm starting at the very beginning.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:35 pm (UTC)Oh, I totally admit it.
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 12:23 pm (UTC)♥
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Date: 2009-02-20 01:31 pm (UTC)My failings are kind of epic. And growing :(
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Date: 2009-02-20 01:41 pm (UTC)I want you as a friend. I want you as a closer friend than you are, I want to know more about you and help when I possibly can, and I feel kinda bad that I keep hornin' in on your space. I like you a lot and I wish we talked more. I wanna give you a cuddle, mostly. :D
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 08:39 pm (UTC)Also, *loves*
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:40 pm (UTC)You are always on my miiiiiiiind, even when my comments faaaaaaaaail
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:41 pm (UTC)There are days when I use this to judge whether or not I exist. Definitely.
*activates your inbox*
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:42 pm (UTC)And yeah, some days I definitely need reminding that other people can see me. :/
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:46 pm (UTC)I am torn re: Castiel, so I hope you have stuffs to say (mebbe once you are not itching).
Also, so you can mock me in your beleaguered state: I fell asleep on the bus home today and MISSED MY STOP. *headdesk* (Only by two, but!)
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:48 pm (UTC)At the moment, rewatching the show, I'm most intrigued by the seeming bizarreness of the demons' purpose on Earth. There's some odd theology going on.
I totally wanna hear what you think, but not until I've actually watched it, 'k? Right now I am at OMG PRETTY WINGS stage.
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:56 pm (UTC)I will not say anything but YES their theology is kind of...wtf. XD and I am totally still at the 'ooh, pretty wings!' stage!
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:47 pm (UTC)Also, hi, your worth is very high - have a comment :)
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Date: 2009-02-19 08:49 pm (UTC)I lub you muchly, ladyface.
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Date: 2009-02-19 09:08 pm (UTC)(Why do I not have a Castiel icon?! *Is lame* That must be remedied.)
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Date: 2009-02-20 12:26 pm (UTC)*ponders*
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Date: 2009-02-19 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 12:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 09:28 pm (UTC)Also, tea. AND CHOCOLATE DIGESTIVES.
*dances a truly happy tea/digestive dance*
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Date: 2009-02-20 12:27 pm (UTC)♥ x 1,000,000
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Date: 2009-02-19 09:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 12:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 03:10 pm (UTC)*musings*
Date: 2009-02-19 09:48 pm (UTC)Too much, according to Sammy. But his bleeding heart rests on his sleeve too often, so Dean doesn't pay attention to that.
Much.
Still. Standing there in that damn barn, out of his mind from things that were literally out of his mind, Dean can still remember what it was like, watching this figure with a long, beige trench coat walk into the barn. The way his body moved, easy and lose like a man who knew all the corners of his bones, every inch of his skin and how to fill up all the places inside. Fluid, like water and oil gliding through glass pipes, never meeting, never interfering, just sliding and sliding until they get where they're going.
Later, when Dean sees him again, that's what he thinks of. That odd kind of grace, something so earthy for all it's malleable.
But back in his lizard-brain, the bit of him that learned so long ago what's real and what's not, that remembers something else. Bright lights, enough to burn the lashes off his eyes, shining out through irises not meant to contain so much. The way his skin flickered underneath normal, everyday clothes, like burlap over Michelangelo. An intensity so big, so huge, it's like cramming a thunderstorms into a bottle, too much inside fragile, breakable skin.
When Dean remembers, he doesn't think of the beauitful man Castiel wants to be, the human decked out in pinks and browns and secret blues. He thinks of light, painful-white and blinding, condensed into a shape it should never be.
So he cowers, even in his sleep.
Those are better dreams.
Re: *musings*
Date: 2009-02-20 12:29 pm (UTC)♥ everywhere.
Re: *musings*
Date: 2009-02-20 01:32 pm (UTC)And, see, this I do not understand. Because you are so much better, seriously. Me = not blowing smoke. You really are. You make words dance. I just pull their strings lackadaisically.
Re: *musings*
Date: 2009-02-20 01:46 pm (UTC)(And thank you. I think you're crazy, but thank you.)
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Date: 2009-02-19 11:12 pm (UTC)Out of interest, want a phonecall when I can actually talk again? Just because I miss you and your ridiculously filthy laugh. &hearts
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Date: 2009-02-20 12:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-19 11:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-20 12:30 pm (UTC)OM NOM.
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Date: 2009-02-20 05:11 am (UTC)And re Castiel... I can't even see him without thinking 'SO CUTE. AWWWW.' And not really in the drop-dead hot way, though he totally is. I didn't want to like him, but I just can not help it. I want to pinch his cheeks followed by wild snogging. This is not healthy.
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Date: 2009-02-20 10:15 am (UTC)