A favour, please?

[nny]

I've been... emotionally punched in the gut a couple of times lately, and mostly it was my fault, but.

A favour? Please don't assume that we have the same criteria for friendship/timescales/not-being-crap-ness.

I kind of. I forget? And I can quite happily not talk to someone for a few months and then try to pick up where we left off, because it doesn't register. I don't notice how much time has passed, and I won't reassess the relationship in the meantime, and it won't be because I don't care or because I'm making a conscious choice, it'll just be because I seriously have no sense of time.

Basically I suck at friendships. I have been told this explicitly quite a few times. So just. If you have a problem, tell me? Because I will want to fix it.

:/

Sorry.

Comments

[dramaturgca.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Need anything?

[villainny.livejournal.com]

The hug is good. Also the icon. :)

[innerbrat]

This is why, Nny, we can go for weeks and months and ages and never talk to each other or know what each other is doing....

...and you'll still be my very best Nny in all the world.

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

*snuggles*

[silveraspen]

Love you, dearling.

[skygiants]

If you suck at friendships, then I do too, because I do exactly the same thing . . . but regardless, I love you and think you are amazing. *hugs*

[genarti]

*hugs* And this is reason #485 why I think you're awesome. :) Because we can fail to talk for months at a time, and fall right back into conversation with the same comfort level, as if no time at all had passed.

(And I do the same thing, so if this means you suck at friendships -- well, just from this thread you're in good company with that, and so I'm pretty sure this is not so much "suck at" as "have a different style of." There are people I keep in much more regular touch with than others, but if I needed to keep in regular contact to preserve the status of 'friend,' it would start feeling like a duty pretty quickly sometimes, and that's not how it's supposed to work.)

[chkc.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[sumerianhaze.livejournal.com]

I try never to do "me too" comments. But... yeah.

[forest-rose.livejournal.com]

I completely understand, love, I do exactly the same. And I still love you dearly and am here if you want to offload or rant or generally squee :-) xxx

[areyoumymemmy.livejournal.com]

Many of my dearest friendships have a certain elasticity of time about them, in that we can not talk for months but as soon as we do it's like we are picking up a conversation from yesterday.

Everyone leads hectic lives, gets caught up, forgets things, goes through periods of being more social and less social. There's no shame or blame in that.

For me it's the quality of interaction, not the frequency. You, nnyface, are pure quality.

[agonistes]

I'm with areyoumymemmy. We do not talk much; this does not stop you from being one of my favorite people. <3

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

I know we don't even know each other (but after you read podfic for me, I hope we will), but I had to comment because I relate to this SO MUCH. So I just want to send {{{hugs}}} and say that Time (which I totally have no sense of, either) is not the measure. Love is the measure. That's the only way it can be, and anyone who doesn't understand that has their priorities upside down. What's the all-fired hurry, anyway? Where are we all going at breathtaking speed? Old age, death, the next life? People seriously have to chill out and enjoy NOW, which is really the only time there is.

[bansidhe]

Don't know if the admission helps, but I'm also guilty of the whole lose-track-of-time thing. (Lousy sense of time doesn't mean you don't love people.)

*sends hugs and tea*

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

And I can quite happily not talk to someone for a few months and then try to pick up where we left off... and I won't reassess the relationship in the meantime,
Hey, it is my MO!

You can always schedule some HAY GUESS WHO DIDN'T FORGET YOU EXIST emails to be sent out every so often, but I've found it's really more satisfying just to keep more friends with similar expectations. Easy to filter them - they are the ones who don't care when you contact them every few months.

[fer-de-lance.livejournal.com]

I actually feel way better now, because this:

And I can quite happily not talk to someone for a few months and then try to pick up where we left off, because it doesn't register. I don't notice how much time has passed,

Yeah. That's me. *boggled* Someone else has my personal failing, that means it's 1. not as personal, and 2. not quite as devastating. *cheered*

Thank you for sharing!

[unravels.livejournal.com]

I think we must assume from my random ninja texting that I operate in the same way. ♥

Hope you're feeling better by now!