(no subject)

Today I am singing a song about smelly feet.


A question, if you're comfortable answering: What scares you? I ask because writing these drabbles has really made me think about what genuinely freaks me out, what gives me a quick shiver, what makes me laugh. I ended up terrified in bed last night because of thinking about drowning slowly, pressed against the upper surface of whatever you happened to be trapped in that was below water level. That's the thing that scares me most, and it'll probably appear sooner or later; it interests me that it involves water which feels so much like home to me, to the extent that I felt homesick for the sea while still in England, which is frankly entirely too small for such feelings. XD

I think it came from reading The Beach, a passage where he swims through an underwater passage but manages to leave the well-explored route, running out of air and knowing that he's passed the point where he can return the way he came...

*shudders*

So yeah, flist. What scares you?

(Promise not to write too many drabbles about your fears. *whistles innocently*)

100 words

The walls are too high for ceilings to exist, endless, grey and horizon bending, but you are settled neatly in the felt-lined square that is just too small to stretch your legs, trapped in place by the awkwardly placed bundle of wires. Every page you load takes just moments too long, constant quiet irritation that slowly wears your teeth away. The air is tight across your shoulders and you can’t take a deep enough breath; just have to get through the five minutes to go.

(It’s not that you don’t know the clock is stopped.

Just… can’t think about this.

Forever.)

100 words

The walls are too high for ceilings to exist, endless, grey and horizon bending, but you are settled neatly in the felt-lined square that is just too small to stretch your legs, trapped in place by the awkwardly placed bundle of wires. Every page you load takes just moments too long, constant quiet irritation that slowly wears your teeth away. The air is tight across your shoulders and you can’t take a deep enough breath; just have to get through the five minutes to go.

(It’s not that you don’t know the clock is stopped.

Just… can’t think about this.

Forever.)

(no subject)

I have a whole folder called claustrophobia with so many different files in, it's kind of ridiculous. I'm fine with small spaces, lifts; the tight feeling in my chest happens more when I can't do something I should. When my feet are in shoes too small and I can't spread my toes out, which then branches out into any time my toes are touching, on bad days, and I have to anchor my toes in carpet to stop from going mad. When an elastic band ball looks like you should be able to compress it a little in your hand but you can't. When legs get caught in bed sheets, when the internet slows down to the point of absurdity, when I'm walking under something with my head bent. I get the fast-scared pain in my chest and a tight aching feeling in whichever muscles can't do what I want them to, like they need to lash out fast and kick or punch or strain against the bone until it breaks against them. I get the same feeling sometimes from emotions; when I don't know the right words or can't find them, when I'm frustrated with people or what I can't do to help them, when I'm constrained into politeness and agreeing and nodding again and again.

Aaaand this post is making me claustrophobic - even though I know it's not the right word for it - and I have to go walk it off.

(no subject)

OMFG BEST COMIC EVER.