(no subject)

[nny]

Okay. So I just saw the Village.



Um. Hahahahahahahahaha. Woah. Hahahahahahaha. God dude. Hoooooo. Heh.

Okay, I'm calm. I'm calm.

Right. I didn't know the twist, but had worked it out from before I saw the film. So yeah, whatever with that.

Let's see. Number one- slow motion. You Are Not John Woo. Quit it.

Number two- your abuse of the English Language will not go unpunished. And William Hurt is possibly the most stilted actor I have ever seen, so stilted language plus stilted actor has made me feel all linguistically constipated. And that was a phrase I'd hoped I'd never have to use again.

Number three- gratuitous tree shots. Yes, they're in/near a wood. We know this. We do not need windswept trees to remind us.

Number four- Joaquin Phoenix can act. So how about not having him play a block of wood? Just a thought.

Number five- Okay. I'll give you Adrien Brody.

Number six- You sent the blind girl into the wood. Me and Bigger were laughing terribly. OH MAN! We said. OH MAN THE BLIND GIRL IS IN THE WOOD! I HOPE SHE DOESN'T FALL IN A HO-

...oh no. You DI'NT!

M. Night Whosis? You have no shame. I salute you.


So yeah. No.