nny | (no subject) (Reply)

Have just made appointments to talk to tutor and someone creative writing-y to talk about maybe doing an MA. Why? I don't know. I don't know that I can justify this to myself because it's something I want to do and I've been such a scholastic fuck-up for such a long time that I don't feel like I should allow myself this. I don't deserve to have got so far in the educational system, not a chance. I've got through mostly by luck and a talent at bullshit. I am master of doing least possible work to get through. I chose the wrong course, admittedly - the effort I put into things that interest me makes me furious with myself for not changing course before it got this far. I don't know what to do.

What the hell would I do with a creative writing MA, in any case?

What if this just proves I'm Not Good Enough? What then? It's one of those things I'd rather just suspect than have proved.