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Jun. 21st, 2005 09:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nnyI don't really believe tarot cards tap into anything, particularly. I think they provide a useful way of looking at things, and that the interpretations that you yourself place on them is what's of importance. I think they're a pretty way of tapping into the subconscious and making you think about things.
My friend gave me a reading the other day, and what seemed to be coming out of it was that I needed to take a step back and look at situations logically. And that there was something or someone that I was putting on a pedestal that didn't need or want to be there.
Which... hit pretty close to home, really.
I think... the way I interact with people I want is very much a kind of worship. That sounds really odd, so an attempt to clarify: I don't feel like they're quite on the same level as me. I see people I crush on as being higher than me, more important in some way, and I see myself as being beneath their notice.
And then I wonder why I'm constantly single.
Just recently I've been getting a huge boost in confidence, and I think it's the result of a lot of little changes that have combined into a slightly better state of being. Things're improving, a little. Nothing dramatic has happened, save that I've finished uni, but I'm feeling good about myself. And about my writing, too. I think I'm not good enough by a long shot, not yet, but I'm practising and working at it and I genuinely think I'm improving.
Sometimes it's hard to see yourself as ever improving. It's hard to imagine a time where you will be better at something, but then I look at my RPing, and I look at stories I wrote even just a year ago and I think that there is a visible difference there.
I think I'm coping better with things, right now. I have had a couple of knocks, but I can deal with them far better than I have been before.
And there's Circusboy. Who's cute, and funny, and intelligent, and makes hideous puns, and I really like him. And it's easy talking to him, even when he smiles at me and my stomach melts slightly. So I'm going to try to hang out with him more, and try to just be friendly, and see if anything develops.
There is a possibility that I'm in a stage where I could believe that he liked me, if he did. (if that makes sense).
Anyway, I hope it lasts.
No guarantees.
Getting my results in a week or so...
My friend gave me a reading the other day, and what seemed to be coming out of it was that I needed to take a step back and look at situations logically. And that there was something or someone that I was putting on a pedestal that didn't need or want to be there.
Which... hit pretty close to home, really.
I think... the way I interact with people I want is very much a kind of worship. That sounds really odd, so an attempt to clarify: I don't feel like they're quite on the same level as me. I see people I crush on as being higher than me, more important in some way, and I see myself as being beneath their notice.
And then I wonder why I'm constantly single.
Just recently I've been getting a huge boost in confidence, and I think it's the result of a lot of little changes that have combined into a slightly better state of being. Things're improving, a little. Nothing dramatic has happened, save that I've finished uni, but I'm feeling good about myself. And about my writing, too. I think I'm not good enough by a long shot, not yet, but I'm practising and working at it and I genuinely think I'm improving.
Sometimes it's hard to see yourself as ever improving. It's hard to imagine a time where you will be better at something, but then I look at my RPing, and I look at stories I wrote even just a year ago and I think that there is a visible difference there.
I think I'm coping better with things, right now. I have had a couple of knocks, but I can deal with them far better than I have been before.
And there's Circusboy. Who's cute, and funny, and intelligent, and makes hideous puns, and I really like him. And it's easy talking to him, even when he smiles at me and my stomach melts slightly. So I'm going to try to hang out with him more, and try to just be friendly, and see if anything develops.
There is a possibility that I'm in a stage where I could believe that he liked me, if he did. (if that makes sense).
Anyway, I hope it lasts.
No guarantees.
Getting my results in a week or so...
