(no subject)
Feb. 7th, 2006 11:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nnyMmmmmmm stability.
I don't know what has prompted this. I think I'm starting to let go, or starting to see how to let go, of something that I feel's held me back for a while. It was a mental state more than anything - a mode of thought that hasn't done me any good for a while but was comforting in that it was known. Letting go of the mode of thought doesn't mean letting go of the object of said thoughts, although a step back could probably help; this is all comforting and good.
Recent fluctuations in mood mean I ain't done, yet... I'm probably not even close to done with this, but for the first time an end is in sight. And it feels good.
[/crypticish]
I'm taking some time off from work on the eleventh of March to attend the award ceremony for a poetry competition which was targeting young poets (about twelve to eighteen) of 'ethnic minority' status. It's taking place in Salisbury, and I helped to judge it. We're going along with one of Bigger's ex-lecturers, who's an absolutely fantastic man, very interested in poetry, one of whose lectures I invaded and blithered about the similarity between The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Considering he warned me he'd be stealing my ideas, I get the impression he liked me. So that's all kinda cool, really.
In the immediate future I'm going to be busting a groove up to London, in the next couple of weeks, to catch Gilbert and George's Son of a God exhibit; if I can wrangle it, and if Smaller doesn't have a job by then, she's going to come with me and we're going to try and also catch some exhibition involving William Blake. I've always loved Gilbert and George, since I saw one of their pictures in Southampton Art Gallery when I was about eleven, so this is a pretty big thing for me.
I'm also thinking more about moving on, and the amount of happy I get from the idea... this is the right time, and the right decision.
I'm really starting to feel like a grown up.
I don't know what has prompted this. I think I'm starting to let go, or starting to see how to let go, of something that I feel's held me back for a while. It was a mental state more than anything - a mode of thought that hasn't done me any good for a while but was comforting in that it was known. Letting go of the mode of thought doesn't mean letting go of the object of said thoughts, although a step back could probably help; this is all comforting and good.
Recent fluctuations in mood mean I ain't done, yet... I'm probably not even close to done with this, but for the first time an end is in sight. And it feels good.
[/crypticish]
I'm taking some time off from work on the eleventh of March to attend the award ceremony for a poetry competition which was targeting young poets (about twelve to eighteen) of 'ethnic minority' status. It's taking place in Salisbury, and I helped to judge it. We're going along with one of Bigger's ex-lecturers, who's an absolutely fantastic man, very interested in poetry, one of whose lectures I invaded and blithered about the similarity between The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Considering he warned me he'd be stealing my ideas, I get the impression he liked me. So that's all kinda cool, really.
In the immediate future I'm going to be busting a groove up to London, in the next couple of weeks, to catch Gilbert and George's Son of a God exhibit; if I can wrangle it, and if Smaller doesn't have a job by then, she's going to come with me and we're going to try and also catch some exhibition involving William Blake. I've always loved Gilbert and George, since I saw one of their pictures in Southampton Art Gallery when I was about eleven, so this is a pretty big thing for me.
I'm also thinking more about moving on, and the amount of happy I get from the idea... this is the right time, and the right decision.
I'm really starting to feel like a grown up.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 04:13 pm (UTC)I am glad for you.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 12:18 am (UTC)It'll change again in a week, but posts like this are what keep me going through the bad patches. It's nice to have tangible evidence that at one point I was okay, y'know?
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 04:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 12:19 am (UTC)Thanks, dear.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 04:47 pm (UTC)Fear and Loathing meets The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock? I can't see it myself, but I'd love to hear about it!
Which is the best line in The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock to use in a secret Valentine card? I'm thinking Should I, over tea and cakes and ices, have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
xx
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 12:23 am (UTC)I'd say something a little more abstract. If they recognise it, they're worth pursuing.
*literary snob*
I got to say, it ain't exactly the most romantical of poems... :)
no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 05:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 12:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 12:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-07 05:14 pm (UTC)Grown up is good.
But I still declare one day a month for being silly on the playground, yeah?
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 12:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 12:40 am (UTC)And like everybody else said - it's a process, and baby steps TOTALLY count. Seriously: I'm impressed, cause this stuff is hard.
*HUGS*
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 02:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 06:02 am (UTC)Also, the combination of Gilbert and George and Blake almost makes my head spin. Should be an interesting trip...