(no subject)

[nny]

So I owe my landlord five hundred quid and my parents seven, I have no job, I have a nasty steenking cold, it's grey and wet and gross outside.

And I'm in such a good mood. And if that sounds sarcastic? SO NOT. I am chirpy as a masturbating parrot. WTF?

First five people to leave me a prompt get something ficcy. I dunno how long it'll be, but. Whatever you want, man.

Comments

[villainny.livejournal.com]

"T - " said the toaster. Dylan looked at it warily.

It continued, its voice sounding like some kind of robot dirge.

" - O - A - S - T. Spell. Toast. T - O - A - "

"Okay, so ten points for initiative, Jez, but it spells toast. That's it, toast. I'm thinking this might just have a limited shelf life, whaddaya say?"

Jez, who was happily occupied with his screwdriver, didn't look up.

"I think it's broken."

"Oh, you think it's broken! Broken, hunh. I'd never have thought that maybe it might be - "

" - A - " said the toaster. " - S - T. Spell."

"- broken. And, for the record, it's starting to freak me out."

"Toasters," Jez told him earnestly, "are our friends."

"I don't care if they're our damned royalty, Jez, I am about this far from getting my damned toolbox and killing it with a - "

"H - " said the toaster. Dylan's mouth clicked shut, and he stared at it. " - A - M - M - E - "

"Oh holy shit," moaned Dylan. "It's reading my frickin' - "

"Spell. Hammer."

"Fixed it!"

"We're all gonna die," Dylan told him.

Jez rolled his eyes and got to his feet, dropping his hand to Dylan's head and ruffling his hair as he passed.

"I won't let the toaster kill you."

It was... somehow, strangely comforting.

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD IF I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE FANTASTIC ALREADY I SO WOULD NOW!

Run, Dylan, run! Heeeee. And "toasters are our friends" = ME DYING OF HYSTERIA. bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! And just, oh, hair ruffling and the potential for discovering evil toasters that obviously bear no resemblance at all to any other toasters that might be on TV are so why I love Shooting Fish. :D