TOO TIRED FOR ANYTHING OTHER THAN BULLET POINTS

[nny]

Yesterday: On my way to college a guy on a motorbike pulled over to the side of the road and kissed a bloke walking along the pavement.

Today: Captain Hook and the Grim Reaper in my sociology class.



* I think I have a long term plan.

* I would appreciate recommendations, should anyone have them, of sociologists, psychologists and philosophers who have babbled about religion. Yup. Whut?

* Very tired.

* Oscar Wilde is the fuckin' coolest.

* Okay, this one's gonna be a long bullet point. There's this girl at college that I support, see. We shall call her Stu. She's in a wheelchair and can't talk, but she's really lovely and seriously into music, goes to see bands all the time, that sort of thing. When she has something to say to me she types it into her mobile. She typed to me today that she wanted to hang out with the alternative crew but was shy - another LSA was like I WILL ASK THEM and I was like PLZ GOD NO because just... Stu's face. The other LSA does not understand how normal people work, she's very strident and adult, y'know?

So, since some of the alternative crew like me, we went and hung around them for a bit - I couldn't, like, force them to talk to her, but she was present, at least. Making herself visible. When we left one of the girls said hey - they're in Sociology class together. So then Stu wrote to me and said that that girl's the kind of person she wants to hang out with, likes, but she doesn't know how to approach. It's awkward, was how she put it.

How do I deal with this? I said we'd talk tomorrow, but I don't know precisely what to say. I don't know what advice to give her. I mean, I can do the generally supportive thing, and I can help her out a little, but frankly I'm bloody awful at making friends myself and the whole thing is made infinitely more difficult by the fact that Stu can't speak.

So. Yeah. If anyone has any ideas, I'd really love to hear them. :/

* I still haven't watched the ep of Heroes I have downloaded. I'll get to it.

* I'm hoping I'll get used to the whole working thing again ASAP because omg so much to do but omg so tired.

Comments

[darthrami.livejournal.com]

I think keeping bringing her along with, like you did, is the best way to start. Because the more time she spends out and with the people, the more comfortable she'll get. And you can't really force anybody into anything, and I'm rambling now. uh.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

The problem with this is that I really shouldn't be hanging out with students at break/lunch time. Number one, it looks weird, number two then I DON'T GET FREE TIME, number three it puts 'em kinda under pressure to befriend Stu and that's not fair on anyone involved. We're supposed to be encouraging her to go off and do her own thing so she doesn't get too dependent on us, but it's hard.

(I think she likes me best. I have the best stories. Someday I will work out the whole student-teacher divide thing. ¬_¬)

[darthrami.livejournal.com]

Ahhh. I see. I guess I didn't really understand that bit. Hrm. Maybe do it, but slowly wean her off of reliance upon you for her involvement? Like, go and then say you have to go or something, and encourage her to go even when you can't?

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

>> Someday I will work out the whole student-teacher divide thing.

Important, or else: crush on teacher.

*looks mysterious*

[kenovay.livejournal.com]

Gah, I cannot do advice in a text-based medium. I just can't. I can do it over the phone or face-to-face, but. I have all sorts of useful suggestions, but when I write them out they look silly or patronising.

*flops* Too tired. Also, does Stu have any other visible disabilities?

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Apart from being in a wheelchair? No. She has... muscular dystrophy, I think, and a wasting disease of the larynx and trachea. Hence the lack of talking.

[kenovay.livejournal.com]

Poor girl. Um. Thing is, she's the only one who can do anything, really. I mean, you can help and be awesome, but teenagers are... impossible to herd.

If I was her, I would start in Sociology. And the lack of talking will be tricky, but there is always note passing. I made one of my best friends because she was sitting next to me and passed me a note saying, "This is incredibly
boring," and we had a massive note conversation.

But yes. Good luck to her. (Oh, and remind her that people are never as scary as they seem. Ever.)

[amphibienne.livejournal.com]

I don't really have any valuable ideas here -- though I agree that forcing anything is just not going to work. If Stu can't speak, maybe she should consider emailing the girl she'd like to hang out with (since they are in class together)? But that's the only idea I can come up with.

Also, I suggest you discuss why she wants to hang out with them. Does she genuinely like them, or does she just think they're cool because they look cool? Cos chances are if it's the latter -- maybe she wouldn't even like them if she got to know them.

I also wanted to say that I think it's great that you care that much. That's why you, as a teacher, will make a difference in these kids' lives. *grins and hugs*

[wanttobeatree.livejournal.com]

I did philosophy, not religious philosophy, but I think Plato's Cave analogy and Form of the Good were pretty much the basis of most Western religion. Descartes (the 'I think therefore I am' guy) apparently proved the existence of God, but, again, not religious philosophy, so I didn't learn about it. Kant was a very religious guy, but how much of it got into his ideas I don't know because, yup, I didn't do religious philosophy.

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

Oscar Wilde is totally the fucking coolest.

And that is a tough situation, but I don't think it's one anybody can force. You can't make people be her friend. But she sounds lovely and worth being friends with, and in that case, if she can hang around those people herself vaguely and write them messages and ask them if they want to join her when there's a gig or whatever, I'd bet it'll work out, even if not entirely perfectly. Which means that while being encouraging and supportive might seem like nothing to you, but it's the best you can do. And while the non-speaking is obviously a huge difficulty to get over in the easy-friend-making stakes, she can at least write out what she wants to say beforehand, maybe discuss it with you or whatever if the shyness is that much of a problem for her.

Um, not that I'm all that great at making friends either, but. *hugs to you both*

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

Awwww, she should be my friend.

I don't have advice.

[immora.livejournal.com]

Thirding that Wilde is indeed the fucking coolest, and I really need to decide on what picture I'll turn into an icon because I need a Wilde icon.