The rise of nomance

[nny]

I referred to the ficlet I wrote this morning as 'unromantic' and I've had a bunch of people protesting that designation so I thought I'd clarify since, as is so very often the case with me, I didn't say quite exactly what I meant.

The word 'romance' is a problem for me. I associate it in my head with hearts, flowers, boxes of chocolates, all things which are to me the very antithesis of - well, what I would think of as romantic. Only not. Since I don't use that word. They're traditional, they're clichéd, they require absolutely no thought whatsoever and are therefore about as loving as being nice to someone only on Valentines Day.

I've mentioned before that my idea of the perfect valentines gift is a banana covered in biro'd poetry, but the truth of it is that it would be anything that was aimed specifically at me. Something that someone had taken time to think about rather than just throwing money at it as some sort of trade-off.

There are bands that write about my idea of love (romance); people like the Magnetic Fields, Badly Drawn Boy, the Weakerthans. What my mate would refer to as 'indie bedwetters'. Simplistic songs, references to talking all night, wearing each others' footwear, taping happy notes to heavy machinery.

The same thing applies to fic, see. When I read fics in which John and Rodney declare their undying love in front of the gate techs... well, I say 'read' but I should more accurately say 'come across' because at the first hint of it I'm clicking frantically at the back button. It doesn't work for them, it's not true to the characters (in my opinion), and it doesn't indicate any real thought that's been put into it. Fics about John spending hours at a time teaching Rodney to fire a gun, thwapping him around the back of the head and mocking him and never saying a single thing even remotely involved with feelings? That's way more like it. It's all about the context.

(Needless to say if you can write them declaring their undying love in front of the gate techs and make me believe it, you will have my everlasting respect and awe.)

So it's not so much the idea of romance I protest as the connotations I attach to the word.

Bitching, snarking, receding hairlines, practical jokes, getting old together with ceaseless mocking all the way, that's what I want from romance. (Only not.)

Thankfully, SG:A is absolutely full of it. :D


(ETA: this entry is not showing up on my f-list, so if I get no comments I choose to believe no one read it, rather than the fact that people are all facepalming at me and saying 'well duh'. :D?)

Comments

[chasing-laura.livejournal.com]

Completely off-topic...

The Offspring just came on my iTunes and I was suddenly reminded of you and, more specifically, standing in bus shelters in the cold, and the dark, singing at the tops of our voices.

Also, are you going to Amoki on Friday night? Think it's at the Joiners.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Fukkit, yes. Why not?

:D!

[chasing-laura.livejournal.com]

Yay! :D

Will give you a shout about it later in the week, lady.

It's their last gig!

[chasing-laura.livejournal.com]

...We bought salt and pepper shakers like those in a flea market in Paris! They're red and a pinky grey...

:-O

[villainny.livejournal.com]

*WAAAAAAAAAANTS*

[chasing-laura.livejournal.com]

They're AMAY-zing :D

...I want to make an icon now!

[kyraille.livejournal.com]

Ooh, much agreed. The young man I was dating at the time sent me flowers on my birthday and it just made me annoyed, and then I felt bad because it's not like he was trying to piss me off and it was a generally nice thing to do, but...

I like 'romantic' relationships in which both parties involved sort of refuse to admit that they have feelings and just relentlessly mock and smack each other around instead... Rosencrantz & Guildenstern spring to mind. :D Because banter is so much more interesting than flowery declarations of love, isn't it?

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Hee, yes, that's pretty much my requirement from fandom relationships. That and dependent relationships, where it's quite clear that neither would survive without the other although they'd never admit it. (And when one of them can and does it makes it all the more tragic. See: Marwood.)

It's odd how often these two subsets collide - John/Rodney, Aziraphale/Crowley, Remus/Sirius, Rosencrantz/Guildenstern, Billy Tallent/Joe Dick, Withnail/Marwood, Jez/Dylan... I could go on.

(This probably says more about my characterisation preferences than the actual canon I choose to fangirl, of course.)

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

I love how your OTP list is almost exactly the same as mine.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

*MINDMELDS*

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

You have been introduced to the joy of Derek/Clive, right?

*chews your frontal lobes*

[villainny.livejournal.com]

...who?

¬_¬

(Oh, and House/Wilson!)

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

*points at icon*

The Cook and Moore radio tapes? Mostly Cook in and out of character abusing Moore and Moore pissing himself laughing. Them: totally shagging.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Ohisee!

Heard of but not heard, I'm afraid.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Download. Is funny. Puerile but funny. Promises.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Download from where?

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

... torrentspy, you spacker.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

perfect valentines gift is a banana covered in biro'd poetry

Haha. Noted.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Or a pineapple in Y-fronts.

*serene*

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

PREFERRED. Because Pineapple-clothing won't make me come out in a rash like a poetic 'nana.

[skygiants]

That is exactlymy idea of appealing romance. *grins* Although possibly it is just the sense of humor part - I can deal with declarations of undying love as long as the characters have a sense of the ridiculousness of it, because it is, when you think about it, a remarkably silly thing to say.

I have an occasional cravings for sappy literary/TV romance, I won't deny it, but when I see it I want it to be character-specific and appropriate instead of generomance, and I want it to be about the flaws and the quirks fitting together around each other more than "well, they are both awesome, so naturally". And I don't want it to ever be perfect. I am picky like that! Which is a long way of saying again that I agree with you.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I like declarations of love that are a) subtle or b) immediately retracted. In fanfic particularly, and often it's not even very happy. Examples that come to mind:


(This takes place after John tells Rodney that he moved into Rodney's quarters a while ago without asking.)

"And you just wanted to be with me that badly," Rodney sneered, his mouth twisted into an incredulous, disbelieving shape.

"Fuck you," John said. Rodney didn't try to stop him when he left.


It was John's day off—they'd gotten strict about downtime when people started having nervous breakdowns—which he'd meant to spend pretending to move and then fucking Rodney's brains out. Sleet was coming down hard, outside, pinging against the windows and roofs in a monotonous, uncertain rhythm, and Ronon had learned to ask "what's wrong?" when someone looked upset, probably from Elizabeth, so a run was out, and he didn't want to be anywhere where Rodney might find him. Finally he just ended up in the fifth level common room, trying to get drunk on two bottles of cider he'd been hiding in his old room for a special occasion. Booze was hard to come by on Atlantis, which meant everyone had become a lightweight, but John was barely tipsy by the time Rodney showed up, his eyes tired and solemn. He stared at John for a long time, just outside the doorway, the door hanging and stuttering, gently, trying to close between them.

"You just wanted to be with me that badly," he said, finally.

-- from Your Inevitable Unhappy Ending (http://www.helenish.net/inevitable.shtml)

and

"You get to dress up and have sex with someone willing and available, what the hell do you care if I spend a small amount of my precious time in the idiotic and completely pointless activity of being in love with you? I am essential, essential to the survival of this expedition, and it’s your responsibility to - oh, oh god, I totally didn’t mean to tell you that. John, John, I’m sorry, please don’t – just forget I said it, I didn’t mean it, I promise, I’ll never say it again, I’ll-”

-- from Second Skin (http://uk.geocities.com/yangtzu62/secondskin.htm)

'course, there are the happy ones, too, where John accidentally lets slip that he might not totally hate Rodney and Rodney is all 'I KNEW YOU COULD NOT RESIST MY MANY AND VARIED CHARMS!' and John's, like, 'no, you know what, I take it back'.

Those make me happy, too.

:D

[skygiants]

*giggles* Yes. Subtle and easily misread and/or "wait no is that what I said? I meant . . . er . . . I like pie!" and, in the latter category also, surprise accidental demonstrations of caring. I mean, when it comes as a surprise to the person who is saying it/doing it/whichever. But I can be sold on almost anything as long as it is well-done.

(I don't tend to read angsty romancefic if it's just about the romance, though - or happy either, really. I need a healthy dollop of plot or character development to go with it for me. It is like a balanced meal!)

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I can't easily box my fic tastes. :D What I require from a fic is pretty much a) good writing and b) good characterisation, and apart from that the liking seems at random.

Some day I shall organise my to-rec list, though, and perhaps then a pattern'll emerge.

[skygiants]

*grins* Sorry to babble at you. I have just been watching myself for patterns recently since I first started noticing a few - although more I guess in terms of characters/themes I like in fiction than fics exactly. It's interesting! And also a little bit sad that I realize how easily boxable I am.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Don't ever be sorry for babbling! I love babble, babble makes me indecently happy. :D!

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

It is YOUR FAULT I now want to write something where John dials in from P3X-whatever to be greeted over the radio by Rodney saying, "Welcome home, my pumpkin muffin."

"Rodney?" John growls, a warning note in his voice. Whatever weird little thing McKay might have for him, it's not gateroom-appropriate. Or, y'know, anytime-appropriate. John likes women. That's why he goes running every morning, his feet drumming out the familiar rhythm of I am not a closet gay.

"Oh, do hurry back through the gate, buttercup," says McKay, his voice tinny through the radio and the sound of John's rapidly disintegrating career. "I can't wait to, uh, to sweep you up in my-- right, in my arms and kiss you in front of all these marines."

"..." says John, the visual twisting his stomach with disgust. Yes, disgust. That's it.

"Don't be such a-- I mean, don't, what was it, yes, don't deny our forbidden love any longer by--" McKay pauses, takes a deep breath, "--by not coming through the gate."

John whites out for a moment. With rage. Where does McKay get off on saying these things? "Where do you get off on--"

For some reason, Teyla puts a hand over his mouth, allowing McKay's voice to cut in over the radio with, "On you, baby. On you."

"Is it possible Dr McKay may perhaps be trying to tell us something?" Teyla whispers in his other ear.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

... god, I adore you.

(Srsly).

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

Did you like the little homage to Thoughtcrimes I threw in there? That's how you know it's art.

(<3)

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

That is AWESOME. (I am not a closet gay made me snort so much.) Though dammit I totally wanted to try to write something for that. Heh. It's a good thing you did first, though, cause my idea wasn't as good; mine was that something had gone wrong so that they needed the help of some random aliens, and the random aliens had Very Strict Rules about only letting married couples in, and John totally lied that he and Rodney were married cause he figured that way Rodney can do the science stuff they need and John can be the guards, except the aliens say "OK, we're sending the adjudicators [read: v. big hairy aliens with guns] in now so they can observe the wedding ceremony", and so John and Rodney get married in the gateroom so the aliens can record it and Rodney spends the whole time muttering under his breath between sacraments and kicking John under the celebratory table. :)

Oh, and re: the actual post, gotta agree with you, dollface.

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

*bounce!* Thanks! I really want to read yours now -- I have a soft spot a mile wide for that sort of scenario, and dude, in the gateroom with the marines (with little white flowers braided into their hair? please oh please oh please?) is such an awesome place for it. *nods firmly*

[tropes.livejournal.com]

HAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH *THUMBS UP*

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thanks!

[vimeslady.livejournal.com]

I don't do SG:A fanfic, but I know exactly what you mean. If Snape declares to Lupin 'I love you so much,' or calls Harry a nickname other than 'brat', I'm totally out of here.

[tropes.livejournal.com]

This is the reason why I am currently storyboarding a couple of McShep vids with Magnetic Fields songs in mind.

Because if anyone ever is a walking Magnetic Fields song, it is Meredith Rodney McKay.

[tammaiya.livejournal.com]

You know what I could maybe see that would be funny? Them having an argument, or rather Rodney having an argument at John, on their way back through the gate that basically culminates in arm-waving and yelling loudly "Because I love you, or are you TOO DUMB TO FIGURE THAT OUT?" or something.

John: ... Uh, Rodney, can we not talk about this right now?
Rodney: Oh, what, is that retarded moron for sometime never, Mr. I can't ever discuss my feelings under pain of-- *notices gate room* oh. Uh. Good idea.
Gate room: *stare*
John: Nothin' to see here, folks, carry on!