(no subject)

[nny]

Today my ambition is to eat some sort of solid food that isn't toast. I've managed this twice so far in the past eight days, so I feel it's a worthy goal. :D

My second aim is to get some idea of what I should have done in terms of work for my course. It's going to depress me and worry me, and I know that going in - it's part of why I've been completely avoiding doing it, but I really have no hope of eventually getting the work done if I have no idea what it is. I've spoken to my course tutor about what's going on in my head, and she's also aware that I've been ill for a week, so I sent her an email this morning basically asking what the deadlines are for this week and indicating that it wasn't really likely that I'd manage to meet all of them. I'm kind of... I'm in a phase of damage control, I think, and I'm hoping that the uni are willing to roll with me at least a little in this. All I can do is try, right?

:/

In fannish news, my show keeps getting better and I keep getting discouraged in terms of joining in. There are entirely too many awesome people in stargate fandom for my contributions to be worth anything, to be honest, and the last few things I've written have kinda sucked. It's probably a state of mind thing, and I'll be riding a wave again eventually, but I feel like a grotesque talentless blob. But I don't feel the need to punish myself for it, so there's progress!

Comments

[dovil.livejournal.com]

My computer is at the moment currently deciding at random moments to close all my tabs, and unfortunately as the incredibly lazy person I am I wont go back and hunt these stories down to comment on them. This is my long winded way of apologising because I read your ficlets, enjoyed them, and didn't say so.

If it helps, I think the feelings of ineptitude and flailing of what to contribute is pretty much universal when your a relative newbie walking into an established fandom. But your writing is good, your dialogue and characterisation is fab. See, you've already contributed and it was good. Everyone in the end finds their own corner to call their own. :)

[villainny.livejournal.com]

You're very sweet, thanks so much for the support. I appreciate it hugely - just having a series of down days at the moment, and I'm never at my most rational when that happens. :)

[kimberlyfdr.livejournal.com]

There are entirely too many awesome people in stargate fandom for my contributions to be worth anything

I am very sorry to hear that you think this because it's terribly untrue. Your contribution is worth just as much as everyone else's. Please don't be discouraged by comparing yourself to others in terms of "well, I think I suck and they are obviously better, so I shouldn't even be trying." You do not suck, you are awesome. SGA fandom is about everyone having fun, contributing in the manner they find the most joy in. Don't disallow yourself that opportunity.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

You are an absolute sweetheart. Thank you, seriously.

[forest-rose.livejournal.com]

There are entirely too many awesome people in stargate fandom for my contributions to be worth anything

I empathise entirely. My fandom, God help me, is Harry Potter, so I understand the feeling of being lost in the stampede. However, it doesn't mean your contributions are worthless - though I do understand, depression can make you feel that way! Still, give it a go when you feel up to it - you might be surprised.

I'm sorry to hear you've been having a string of down days - that's never fun. Have a hug from a virtual stranger - it's meant to be helpful rather than creepy, honest. Hopefully your uni will be as understanding as mine were when I flipped out a bit last year - they seem to be far more up on the whole mental health thing these days.