(no subject)

[nny]

SELF INDULGENT WARNINGS OF SELF INDULGENT WHININGS!

I had not noticed how badly I'd failed at cliche_bingo. Oops? I'm still totally going to work through my card, just not for the challenge. I've kind of lost the tight grip I had on my life for a while there; I was almost organised, a little, sort of, and now I'm just achieving absolutely nothing again. It's always hard to push myself back into it again, moments like this - it's just hard to convince myself that it's worth it, when I kind of... I get to a certain point of achieving things, and it's such hard work and takes so much energy (sometimes just to get out of bed in the morning), and I pat myself on the back and then think... wait. Wait, hang on, does this mean I have to work so damned hard every day now? For the rest of my life? That kinda slingshots me back into the depression thing, which means that the next time, hey! Just as much hard work just to get me back to where I started! Except with a couple more bills/overdrafts/jobs that need doing because of what I neglected due to feeling like/being crap.

Makes me tired.

Ah well; I shall tie on me walking boots and traverse the latest speed bump. At least I'm getting better at seeing the paths forward.

/SELF INDULGENCE


I will make myself a comprehensive to-do list for tomorrow and attempt to get myself more than usually sorted for work on Tuesday, although I am glad that we have at least one INSET day before getting back into it with the students. Mostly I need to find a means of organising myself that my brain works within. I have a tendency to convince myself that I can achieve better living through stationery, when it's actually the structure of my thoughts that needs realigning. But I WILL SUCCEED! I just need to stop attacking the problems in such a fuzzy way.



Had a mental image of wrapping myself in socks and flinging myself at a brick wall, then. Problems remain, but at least now I'm giggling. :D

Comments

[pennyplainknits.livejournal.com]

I think if you do it long enough it becomes a habit? You KNOW you can do it now, and you shouldn't let a momentary setback become a longer setback.

Better living through stationary is totally my mantra. Have you tried something like the Getting Things Done approach, where you split up your time into outcomes? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Getting_Things_Done

If you ignore the dodgy spirituality and focus on the time management techniques, it can be quite useful

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to translate it at the moment. I suspect two nights of sleeping on the sofa has left me too tired to function. XD

Thanks for the recommendation, and I'll check it out when I can read...

[chkc.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Maybe eventually you'll build up a tolerance, so being organized won't feel like so much work anymore? (Says me, who is actually kind of disorganized.)

*waves supporting pom poms*

[villainny.livejournal.com]

*gives you a sock-clad hug*

[dramawench.livejournal.com]

I totally understand, hon. especially with money and overdrafts and all that - things will build and get totally overwhelming for me so that I want to give up.

But it will get better!!!
*hugs and love*