(no subject)

[nny]

Have you had that thing where you kind of stumble over a thought that's just presented itself, fully formed, and think holy crap, have I seriously internalised that? Like, it might be something blatantly misogynist or racist or homophobic or whatever, something that you don't believe but have stored somewhere in the back of your mind. And obviously you challenge it immediately, but you're just kind of knocked sideways that that thought even appeared. You know?

Last night I got a message on facebook from my brother. I think he may have been drunk, 'cos he said he loves me. XD And my brain just offered no, no, you love people, they don't love you.

Mostly I'm pissed off by this. I genuinely thought I was making progress in that area, but my brain is a stubborn ass.

(I'm also faintly worried about the fact that I've had a phonecall from my dad, facebook messages from my brother and younger sister, and emails from my mum and sister. I never get this much concern at once, what do they think is wrong with me? AM I DYING?)

Comments

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Glargh. Well, I'm glad you REALISED that it was fucking wrong rather than assuming your brain was telling the truth there.

[batyatoon]

Seconded.

*sends a bucketload of hugs*

[ladycat777.livejournal.com]

&hearts &hearts &hearts

Well I love you. And it has nothing to do with anything you feel in return- you're that amazing.

[cow.livejournal.com]

I think this post needs a Nny-lovefest to help you convince that part of your brain it's wrong. ♥

[genarti]

Brains are stubborn, especially the lurking internalized bits. (This metaphor is slightly incoherent, but I don't care.) I'm very happy you instantly challenged it, though.

<333333333

[pennyplainknits.livejournal.com]

Please to not be dying!

[la-rainette.livejournal.com]

Well, I love you, and you better not be dying!

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

Ha, yeah, I was semi-joking with my mother once about having put her through so much worry in my life--the catalyst was that I'd recently gotten badly concussed in a car crash, but I was also talking about having been hospitalized for pneumonia many, many times as a kid--and I blurted out, "Well, at least the crash wasn't my fault." Because...apparently the pneumonia WAS?

Yeah, you turn over a rock in your brain and THINGS crawl out.