(no subject)

Since it's now officially the last day of the year:

( Stuff What I Wrote )

Possibly not all of it, but all I could find.

There was more of that than I was expecting, actually.

(no subject)

My resolution this next year is (apart from working on my writing, which is pretty much a permanent fixture and, as such, gets very little notice taken) to work on my organisational skills.

You'd think, what with having got GCSEs, A-levels, a bloody degree, that I might have sorted this out by now. I really should have done, because I'm not unintelligent, and I could have got much better marks than I came away with. Disliking my degree subject didn't help an awful lot, obviously, but the decision to stick with it was mine.

Fact is, I drift through life, and I let things pass me by. On the brutal honesty meme, someone said they thought I was lazy. That was pretty much the worst thing said about me, for which I am grateful, but it stung a little precisely because it's so true. My life would be a hell of a lot smoother if I took the time to work at it a little.

I've ordered a bookcase, which'll mean I can sort out my room, something I've not been able to do for a little while because I literally do not have the space for the amount of stuff I have; then I can sort out packages for those as are owed them, and work out what I have, what I need, and what I can sell on Ebay.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to Woolies and purchase a diary, and I am going to do my damndest to use it. I am going to make a note of everything I've said I'll do, and of peoples' birthdays, and attempt to learn to live life like a normal grown-up person does. Because the way I am, I realise, is kind of a burden on the people around me.

So this is an apology, kids. If I've pissed you off with my scattiness, which I think is completely understandable, I really am very sorry. And I ask that you bear with me while I attempt to sort it out. Because it's not going to be an overnight process, much as I wish it could be. Because I'm lazy. *grins*



Hunh. Examining personality flaws and attempting to sort out how I can work on them. Does this make me a grown up?

(no subject)

I'm not sure what to do, tonight, because I'm not sure, entirely, where I'm wanted.

This is the kind of feeling that springs from two nights of very little restless sleep and dreams that make me regret what little there was. I'm trying awfully hard to be sensible about it, but sleep often seems like a requirement of sensible and it's harder than it looks.

I've never got on well with New Year's Eve. I feel some sort of societal... not pressure, but expectation that I shall enjoy myself. Pressure would be easier resented; when it's merely an expectation, born of a thousand thousand people enjoying themselves dreadfully, it's clearly something that's wrong with me.

New Year's to me is long queues and loud drunks and drinking not to be drinking but in order to get drunk. Which, in the greatest tradition of irony, does wonders at getting me out of the mood and therefore far more sober than I'd like. And yet still, no doubt, with a marvellous hangover the next day.

It's entirely possible that the best option is to make a conscious decision to be alone, thereby avoiding any resentment at the fact that I still am. In other words: I may be on the internet tonight, but only if I've had some sleep and managed to force myself into a better mood than I am now. This evening I may opt for Master and Commander and a little bit of port.

Ah, well. Decisions can be made after nap after work.

More resolutions: Drink less. Sleep more.

(no subject)

Because I will, no doubt, forget to say it later:

Happy New Year, everybody.

Y'all enrich my life.

And Meggo has SUPERLATIVE taste in socks, for the record. XD