(no subject)

[nny]

I'm not sure what to do, tonight, because I'm not sure, entirely, where I'm wanted.

This is the kind of feeling that springs from two nights of very little restless sleep and dreams that make me regret what little there was. I'm trying awfully hard to be sensible about it, but sleep often seems like a requirement of sensible and it's harder than it looks.

I've never got on well with New Year's Eve. I feel some sort of societal... not pressure, but expectation that I shall enjoy myself. Pressure would be easier resented; when it's merely an expectation, born of a thousand thousand people enjoying themselves dreadfully, it's clearly something that's wrong with me.

New Year's to me is long queues and loud drunks and drinking not to be drinking but in order to get drunk. Which, in the greatest tradition of irony, does wonders at getting me out of the mood and therefore far more sober than I'd like. And yet still, no doubt, with a marvellous hangover the next day.

It's entirely possible that the best option is to make a conscious decision to be alone, thereby avoiding any resentment at the fact that I still am. In other words: I may be on the internet tonight, but only if I've had some sleep and managed to force myself into a better mood than I am now. This evening I may opt for Master and Commander and a little bit of port.

Ah, well. Decisions can be made after nap after work.

More resolutions: Drink less. Sleep more.

Comments

[rimestock.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

I love you, Nny.

Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may or may not have been drinking, and the hangover you may or may not be nursing, and the sleep you may or may not have gotten.

Love.

[fahye.livejournal.com]

I am spending this New Year's Eve watching Battlestar Galactica with my father and planning my JaNoWriMo. I think I win :D

We love you, Nnything. (And if you're around...we can RP! I miss Billy.)

[illmantrim.livejournal.com]

I dont reckon I know you very much but I just wanted to say...when I see you around, with your journal entries here and your characters in Milliways, you show a style and a grace and a... a there-ness that makes it very cool to see and know you are around. I donjt know if it's much, but... there ya go. you're pretty cool, and you're nice. Whatever you do tonight, remember that.

Sam

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

Better resolution: talk to Ji more :D

*makes self available; brings beanbag chair*

[stella-polaris.livejournal.com]

Hhhhhh.

I can relate. Painfully much.

I don't drink. Every six months I might have a glass of champagne, but I don't drink. Some of my friends still have to figure that out, apparently, because every time we go somewhere, there's always someone nagging at me to DRINK! DRINK!

I don't want to, you fucks, stop putting pressure on me!

Guess when they do that the most? On Midsummer and New Year's.

And I'm supposed to be all happy happy joy joy, when I know for a fact that wherever we go, my friends will gather into small groups and I never feel like joining any. And I bet I'm going to be depressed. I could feel depression coming yesterday, and I tried to say I'm not going anywhere, but apparently my opinion isn't worth anything.

I might stay home. Rent a movie. Buy some lemonade. Not feel anguished and miserable in a crowd of people.


not pressure, but expectation that I shall enjoy myself. Pressure would be easier resented; when it's merely an expectation, born of a thousand thousand people enjoying themselves dreadfully, it's clearly something that's wrong with me.

I always get the feeling of being the party-pooper. At some point I take a book and start reading in a corner. I'm going to hear about it for the rest of the year. And part of my moping is due to those expectations, ha ha.
The ironic thing is, of course, that they are the ones who insist I join then. Fine then, but keep your expectations to yourselves and let me mope.


Do what you want, I say. They should understand. what's the point in going to a party if you fee you're not going to enjoy it. The result won't be much better than if you stay home.
Unless you feel like there's a chance you might enjoy it after all.

[copperbadge.livejournal.com]

I've always felt that the more relaxed Hogmanays were the better ones. We always stay in and make waffles and once in a while do fireworks, although not this year since there's a burn ban in Texas.

I wonder how many people really do enjoy themselves so dreadfully when they go out or if it's like the alcoholic version of Norman Rockwell, where everyone just THINKS they ought to be happy and idyllic and have perfect pug-nosed children. :D

So I will LAMA YOU.

For me it is nothing. New millennium or new century or new year. For me it is another day, another night. The sun, the moon, the stars remain the same.
-- The Dalai Lama

:)

[ms-ntropy.livejournal.com]

There's something about New Years that makes me want to go exploring. Do the things I've been putting off all year long and the like. Of course, my present location doesn't really allot for such excursion. Freakin' ass cold weather.

Next year? You should come to Boston. We'll walk around the Commons and look at the ice sculptures, go to a nice resturant and have tasty food, then go back to the Circle where I'll most likely get my ass handed to me at Mario Cart.

*nods*

[ms-ntropy.livejournal.com]

I think I might have weaseled an innerbrat and a sir_gareth into this plot as well....

*entices*

[indy-go.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I miss you. :(

[silveraspen]

You are not alone, hon. *hugs lots* The wild frenetic nature that is encouraged to go along with New Year's is not always of interest to people, and is often more effort than it is worth.

I have to be in the proper mood for such, and this year I expect to be curled up at the family home with a cat and probably the laptop nearby, and maybe hot chocolate as well. Because that sounds lovely.

And I adore you for all that you are, and wish you a lovely wonderful happy New Year however you wish to celebrate it.