(no subject)

[nny]

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I perpetrated the crush meme, and was frankly blown away by the huge response I got. Every now and again I still get comment notifications from it, still get people anonymously declaring their feelings for someone. Some are friendly crushes, some teasing, but some people seem to have genuinely strong feelings for people they only know online.

Recent events have got me thinking. I've always been highly sceptical of the whole 'net love thing, but now two of my friends are happy, in love, and absolutely adorable together, and suddenly I'm bordering on the converted. Where do you stand on the issue?


[Poll #358549]

If you don't want to reply to the poll, since the answers will be public, feel free to leave an anonymous comment. *g*

Comments

[sophistry]

Your inadequately-sized response boxes make the baby Jesus cry. And (*^@#$! LJ ate this the first time. It was more insightful and intelligent before, I swear.

The thing with 'net crushes is that they have the potential to be so much purer than normal crushes, as they're almost entirely based on what the crushee says and does, as opposed to what they look like. Not to mention the fact that a lot of people, myself included, can be a lot more open about who they really are online. They can talk about things they never normally would in person. With a 'net crush, odds are that you're crushing on the person, not the person's face.

However, the flip-side to that is that what we see of people online has the potential to be incredibly filtered. Ultimately, what we know of 'net friends is what they choose to put out there. Some people are honest, some people are not, and some people only selectively so. So there's always the possibility that what one is crushing on is not so much a person as a persona, an ideal that the crushee has created around themselves for the online world to see.

So, I guess my point is... that I have no point.

[(Anonymous)]

I know people I've met online and think I might possibly want to date if I met them IRL, but I'm very wary, for the reasons copinggoggles lists above. Twice, during ten years in Internet communities, I had experiences in which net personae and RL characters of people I met differed substantially. In both cases, it was nearly impossible to tell there was something untrue in the story *even after the people involved met IRL*. In both cases, what appeared -- for months on end -- to be perfectly pure and loving relationships over the net floundered when the deceptions were revealed.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I don't understand it. I guess I can see the allure of being better/smarter/prettier online than in real life, but that's what RPGs are for. :D I'd rather be me, here. The only thing people don't really know is the way I look, and well, that's probably for the best. *g*

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I think... creating a persona, although it has the potential to cause harm, is unlikely to unless you meet up with them. Does that make sense? I mean, the majority of internet crushes will stay that way, no other contact. OTOH, when it moves into the arena of IM and such... Ack. I don't know. I like to think I know the people I know, but every now and again it's revealed that no, I don't. And that hurts.

Personally... I use this as a place I *can* be me. People can either read or not. In RL you have to show a little more consideration, but I have no compunction about spamming my f-list because if they don't want it they have the choice not to read.

Also? <3