(no subject)

[nny]

I'm a contradiction in terms. In so very many of the things I hold opinions on I manage to keep seperate and conflicting ideas in my head at the same time. A case in point is in the matter of fiction based on or around roleplaying games, stories that involve characters I play.

I adore these fics. They make me ridiculously happy. I feel honoured that I might have inspired someone to write such things, and I love reading about my character doing something that they would do, something that I could have written, but didn't.

And then there's the flip side.

It's intensely paranoia-inducing to read something that hits the exactly right voice for your character. Something that is so spot on that you can hear it in your head. It makes me feel replaceable, like I don't really matter as mun for that character, that my job could be done just as well by anyone. And that's the strangest feeling because I don't play original characters. A couple of my characters border on OCs, but I have rationalisation of why they've grown up the way they have, and I'm almost certain they're not Mary-Sues. (Cue fit of paranoia, again...). I am playing someone else's character so it shouldn't bother me that someone else can write the voice well, but the RP characters have so many of my quirks in them... And of course, there's the fact that I don't think I could do it...

This is why I'm dragging my heels so much on the André/Lucifer, the André/Skazz. I don't think I can get the voices of your characters right, and I'm worried about you reading my attempts. It's pretty similar to imagining that JKR is reading your Potter-fic, or GNeil watching my fumbling attempts at playing one of his characters. And no, I'm really not exaggerating- that's what it feels like. I fear your polite response, while I know that it doesn't sound like your character.

Writing canon fic is so much easier. And I'm slack even at doing that.

Yeah, I guess that's it. :)

Comments

[aidara.livejournal.com]

I think part of the deal is that the people who write fic based on your interpretations of the characters have studied how you RP: how you say things, your quirks, etc. It's kind of like you studying the canon characters. People who write RP-based fic are just studying a different kind of canon. :) Don't worry, it's because they admire you. The point is that they're doing it like you in fannish appreciation, just as fanfic writers do with canon.

That sounds so garbled. :/

[fahye.livejournal.com]

Art writes Lucifer far, far better than I do.

And don't feel intimidated; you created this character. I wouldn't be able to write Andre if you hadn't given him such a credible and distinctive personality. He's still yours. And imitation is a pretty sure mark of admiration in that context :D

[ashen_key]

Why do you think I cheated and just wrote a conversation, a conversation that was almost entirely my character speaking, and was indeed started off from a quote that you yourself had written? Seriously, I had a plan for a much longer one that had TJ telling Andre to go and apologize to Skazz after a fight, but I couldn't do it as it was from Andre's POV.

How about I promise to tell you quite honestly what I think, and then go and beta it for Skazz-y responses? If it makes you feel better? *g*. But, seriously, I read over ALL of our logs to try and get Andre down-pat, and then I wasn't sure until you commented, and then wrote this, if I had gotten him right.