(no subject)

[nny]

I'm kind of amused.

I've never really posted any sorts of opinions of anything on my journal because I'm scared of looking stupid or not explaining myself well enough or getting yelled at. And now I am starting to (albeit couched in careful terms and not inflammatory in any way) and these are the posts on which nobody comments. What are you here for? Should I be writing more?

This is not supposed to be beratey. I'm just wondering.


My brain space is screwed currently. All of my dreams (now I have worked out a common thread) are about watching. Not participating in anything, just standing back and watching things happen. Someone getting beaten to death, someone freezing to death, someone getting verbally flayed, people deliberately infecting others with illness.

I'm not much for dream interpretation but it's kind of repeatedly smacking me in the face, here. Only I'm not sure what to take from it. Am I subconsciously berating myself for being a bystander and sitting on the fence so often? Am I worried about moving away and having less time and not being able to participate in various fandom/lj stuff any more? (Yes.)


As is, perhaps, obvious, I'm on a serious downswing at the moment. It's odd though because usually on downswings I am panicky and over emotional and it feels like the worst thing on earth. Like I can't cope and everything will be wrong forever.

This time I'm just sort of accepting things. Yes, this thing is crap, but that is the way that such things are. Shrug. Move on.

I don't want to shrug and move on. I want to deal with things. It's just so much easier not to.


Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm really self absorbed and bloody boring right now. However, if you've been around my journal for any length of time, you will know that I fluctuate madly and in a few days I'll be bouncing madly about the mating habits of gerbils. Or something.

And I nearly said 'journals' there. Hunh.

Which journal would you slash my journal with, huh? I wonder how my journal is in bed?

I suspect it talks too much.

Comments

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

Your journal attempts to wear tweed in bed.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

...and that.

My journal is hopeless. And possibly involuntarily celibate.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

It would be impossibly endearing.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

With your journal there would be much sitting around and discussion and possibly smoking in oversized t-shirts. The sex would be hot but... matter of fact. Not soft-focus. I'm thinking French film, here.

This is not meant to be offensive and I hope you will not find it so. :D

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

Being literal-minded, I was going to say "jailbait." ;D

[villainny.livejournal.com]

The two are not mutually exclusive.

And now I have Leon influenced mental images. Hunh.

If your journal sprouts a Gary Oldman I am officially terrified.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

Truth! anyway, that time of my life will be over in <2 weeks.


I promise this will not happen.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Yes. I should prepare package.

*slack*

Then again, I still owe people Christmas presents, so. It would be fitting to send package in December. (I won't).



I am pleased. 'cos he was kinda terrifying in that film.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

No more packages until I have sent you something. That is the rule.

[villainny.livejournal.com]

There are exceptions where birthdays are concerned, dumkopf.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

:O

*DUMKOPF!*

[villainny.livejournal.com]

I just like the insult. It's so five years old.

[ashen_key]

So, if your journal talks too much...what would mine do?

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Where mine would be nervous yours would be unselfconscious. Caught up in the moment completely.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

There'd be something sort of -- not quite in our worldly about it.

[ashen_key]

Wickedly etheral, as I believe Nny once said?

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I say good things.

*impressed*

[ashen_key]

You do! And I've remembered it! Because I LIKE that description, dammnit, seeming as I'm such a...puppy in real life.

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

Puppy! *snogs*

[villainny.livejournal.com]

*suddenly terrified*

[schiarire.livejournal.com]

Ashie just=too cute for words.

[ashen_key]

Thank you, Ji. I'm sure.

[ashen_key]

Well, you know. Not graceful with the tendency to knock things over.

[ashen_key]

*grins*

Now that sounds like fun.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Your journal has a funny moustache. And apathy is sucky :(

[villainny.livejournal.com]

Apathy totally is sucky.

*pouts*

I think your journal would be experimental and interested to the point of embarrassment (for the other journal involved) in what was going on. Intrigued by reactions, and such.

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

That sentence was strange to write as I am a reader of the absent active_apathy, who is not sucky XP

And LOL, because I can so imagine a character doing that. I've never seen it done, though...

[dopplegl.livejournal.com]

I slash your journal with mine! You can be the intellectual one and mine can be the shallow vacuous one! PERFECT RELATIONSHIP!

[agonistes]

Your journal is verbose in bed, and this is not a bad thing. :D

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Your journal gets distracted in bed and starts babbling about things that interest it at really inopportune moments, which the other journals find adorable, and normally when they have sex with it they end up in joyous laughter.

RE: dreams, it does kind of *sound* like you're ... tired of not being part of "it", or not feeling like you are. Um.

[midnight-violet.livejournal.com]

on being a 'watcher'- it sucks.much hugs. running atr it going ARRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHH can seem like a good approach, but i don't think it necesarily is -whihc is good news if you haven't the energy for that anyway right now. i think southampton may help in unexpected ways with that- outside of the internet it has the potential to push you into getting involved with STUFF.
dream interpretation is an interesting beastie.one of your previous posts is talking about watching(powerless) whilst power inflicts horrible deaths. general condition at the mo i guess.
and your journal? is... communicative.:D