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Jun. 7th, 2006 07:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nnyA little more as I slowly drip dry.
In regards to last night's post about bisexuality.
What's come up a couple of times in the comments is that people have agreed with or mentioned my saying that gender doesn't matter to me. And I do beg your pardon if that's how it came across, but that's not what I mean at all. I realise that it's kind of an easy way of looking at bisexuality, and more than that it's an easy way of explaining bisexuality, I guess. It's kind of a code which takes only one sentence and means people can almost get where you're coming from but not quite. Isn't that the way of things with every box we try to slot ourselves into? There are many labels which can almost apply to me, but there are many ways in which I really don't fit; it'd be easy to call myself a Christian, for instance. I believe in god, I believe in many things that work within Christianity... but I'm not. I don't believe in the faith as a whole and therefore I'm not willing to strap that certain set of expectations to my back.
This is possibly why I talk so much on here; attempting to explain where I'm coming from. It's as much for my benefit as anyone else's.
(In fact, it's probably entirely for my benefit. Do feel free to tell me to shut up. :D)
But anyway, meandering back to the point in my own sweet time: Gender does matter to me.
Of course it matters to me. Saying that it doesn't is denying an enormous part of what has made a person who they are, made them develop in the way that they have. Saying that it doesn't is ignoring the way that collarbones on girls and forearms on blokes have a completely different effect on me than the equivalent on the opposite. Things that attract me to a person aren't always the same in both genders, and a girl acting exactly the same way as a bloke in any given situation will not have the same effect on me, not even remotely.
Gender, gender roles, the conception thereof and the identification within them are an enormous part of who a person is. If you fall in love or lust after a person, that is a part of what has made you feel that way about them.
So yes: gender, individually, matters. I just don't really seem to have a preference over all.
It's nearly the same thing, see, but not quite.
In regards to last night's post about bisexuality.
What's come up a couple of times in the comments is that people have agreed with or mentioned my saying that gender doesn't matter to me. And I do beg your pardon if that's how it came across, but that's not what I mean at all. I realise that it's kind of an easy way of looking at bisexuality, and more than that it's an easy way of explaining bisexuality, I guess. It's kind of a code which takes only one sentence and means people can almost get where you're coming from but not quite. Isn't that the way of things with every box we try to slot ourselves into? There are many labels which can almost apply to me, but there are many ways in which I really don't fit; it'd be easy to call myself a Christian, for instance. I believe in god, I believe in many things that work within Christianity... but I'm not. I don't believe in the faith as a whole and therefore I'm not willing to strap that certain set of expectations to my back.
This is possibly why I talk so much on here; attempting to explain where I'm coming from. It's as much for my benefit as anyone else's.
(In fact, it's probably entirely for my benefit. Do feel free to tell me to shut up. :D)
But anyway, meandering back to the point in my own sweet time: Gender does matter to me.
Of course it matters to me. Saying that it doesn't is denying an enormous part of what has made a person who they are, made them develop in the way that they have. Saying that it doesn't is ignoring the way that collarbones on girls and forearms on blokes have a completely different effect on me than the equivalent on the opposite. Things that attract me to a person aren't always the same in both genders, and a girl acting exactly the same way as a bloke in any given situation will not have the same effect on me, not even remotely.
Gender, gender roles, the conception thereof and the identification within them are an enormous part of who a person is. If you fall in love or lust after a person, that is a part of what has made you feel that way about them.
So yes: gender, individually, matters. I just don't really seem to have a preference over all.
It's nearly the same thing, see, but not quite.
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-07 08:43 am (UTC)It's not denying that it's an enormous part of the way they are, at least when I say it - of course someone's gender is integral to who they are, and it can be the deal-breaker with respect to personality and any other combination of traits. In the end, when I use the phrase "it doesn't matter what gender they are," I mean in the general, overarching sense of, when I am single, I don't go out saying, hmm, gee, I think I'm in the mood for only women today, or only men today, so I'm going to exclude one or the other. It simply means that I am open to any opportunity when single, and that, yes, while a person's gender will have an effect on who they are, I'm not out to meet segmented-off preference quotas :)