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Nov. 16th, 2007 04:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nnyKinda hard to come back from a day like today and think 'yes, I can totally see myself doing this for the next forty years of my life.' And the teacher who told me that this is the easiest I'll ever have it? Not helping.
It's hard finding time for any kind of a social life, right now. I work almost straight through from coming back from school to going to bed, I'm sleeping 6 hours a night, and it still doesn't seem like I'm doing enough. I guess I have to just... streamline what I'm doing? cut out the excess? Although it would be nice to have someone point out what I don't need to be doing because right now it all seems necessary and it all seems too much.
Tonight I think I'll type up the lesson plans I've already done, just so I can holepunch them and file them away and not have to actually do any sort of thinking tonight, because to be honest I'm still not up to par after being ill earlier in the week and I could do with one good lie-in before I start my work.
Just... mostly feeling helpless and hopeless right now. And my efforts to wear a sunny disposition and attempt to point out aspects I think I'm doing fairly well - which, for me, kind of a big thing - have met with admonishments to be more self-critical. Har.
Mbleh. I think I'm gonna have a nap before getting started on tonight's task. It's been a hell of a long week.
It's hard finding time for any kind of a social life, right now. I work almost straight through from coming back from school to going to bed, I'm sleeping 6 hours a night, and it still doesn't seem like I'm doing enough. I guess I have to just... streamline what I'm doing? cut out the excess? Although it would be nice to have someone point out what I don't need to be doing because right now it all seems necessary and it all seems too much.
Tonight I think I'll type up the lesson plans I've already done, just so I can holepunch them and file them away and not have to actually do any sort of thinking tonight, because to be honest I'm still not up to par after being ill earlier in the week and I could do with one good lie-in before I start my work.
Just... mostly feeling helpless and hopeless right now. And my efforts to wear a sunny disposition and attempt to point out aspects I think I'm doing fairly well - which, for me, kind of a big thing - have met with admonishments to be more self-critical. Har.
Mbleh. I think I'm gonna have a nap before getting started on tonight's task. It's been a hell of a long week.
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no subject
Date: 2007-11-16 04:45 pm (UTC)I'm sorry sweetie, sounds like it's been a horrible day. I personally think you are working incredibly hard and doing superbly well, especially in knowing yourself what you are being successful in :)
Do you want me to have a chat with my sister, see if she has any advice? (She went through all this herself when she was training)
Stay positive. You are doing a fantastic job and I'm really proud of you.
(oh, do you have a landline number I can call you on? My mobile's still out of action but the landline is sorta working??)
Love you hon!
no subject
Date: 2007-11-16 06:41 pm (UTC)um, *hugs*?
still not got a landline. they say NEXT week now.
you ain't hopeless.I've heard about the madness that is the PGCE from Gemma, how it doesn't break more people i don't know.
Thats a good idea about asking someone to help you work out whats not necessary, or at least not always necessary. And NOTHING that skilled and demanding is going to be "the easiest you'll ever have it" the first stretch that you are doing it.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-16 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-17 03:07 am (UTC)If I went back to teaching, it would be tough for me, too, for the first year, and I taught in a classroom for 12 years!