Societal brainwashing. Double standards. Modern cult of the virgin, like there's something holy about the state in women, but men are expected to be players. :P
Only men who ever wanted to do the deed with me were too eager, and there wasn't any tenderness in it, so I just couldn't. Plus: conditioning to be a "good girl". Only men that I wanted weren't interested. Or were scared off by the damned virginity. It's taken me a long time to learn and believe that there isn't anything wrong with me.
But. Damn. (I've learned to appreciate fresh batteries, 'cause orgasms are good for you. Can't help but feel I'm missing out on something, though.) :(
Only blokes who wanted to have sex with me either a) offered me threesomes which... for a first time, not so much, b) were in relationships, which NO, or c) was sekritly in love with his ex-girlfriend, still. Oral sex I Do Not Like, since it has been forced upon me, :/, and I've never had a sex toy. Should I get one?
I have got to a point where I'm resigned to it, really. I'm not emotionally mature enough for a relationship (even without the lack of interest) and I'm sure as hell not having sex without one, so.
And then there's the whole girl option, of course, which is so very full of grey areas; nothing I've done there counts as sex, to my mind. I have learned that my categorisation of such things is not always the same as others'.
Medical studies have proven that regular orgasms release chemicals into the bloodstream that are beneficial for long-term health.
Here are a couple of interesting articles: ~ one discussing emotional well-being as tied to sex (http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/11-9-2001-5985.asp) ~ one that talks about the anti-stress properties of Oxytocin, "the bonding hormone" (http://www.reuniting.info/science/oxytocin_health_bonding) -- and I quote: "Oxytocin is the reason why people with pets tend to recover more quickly from illness, why married people tend to live longer, why support groups benefit those with cancer, addictions and chronic disorders, and why care-giving primate parents, whether male or female, live longer than the non-care-giving parents." Not exclusively sexual, of course, but definitely there in a relationship. ~ and one on the release of Endorphins during orgasm (http://www.sex-ed101.org/articles/sexual_health/female_orgasm.html).
Getting yourself off relieves stress, is healthy, causes pleasure that you control, and teaches you about your own body and responses. I find it easier with a nice little vibrator, but there are women who swear by "a date with Indiana Index".
I hear you about relationships -- I'd like my first time to be with someone I love, certainly.
And the whole girl option? I am so there. I've given up looking for Prince Charming, and am now looking for my Soulmate, whatever gender or orientation he or she might be in this lifetime. :)
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 06:57 am (UTC)Only men who ever wanted to do the deed with me were too eager, and there wasn't any tenderness in it, so I just couldn't. Plus: conditioning to be a "good girl". Only men that I wanted weren't interested. Or were scared off by the damned virginity. It's taken me a long time to learn and believe that there isn't anything wrong with me.
But. Damn. (I've learned to appreciate fresh batteries, 'cause orgasms are good for you. Can't help but feel I'm missing out on something, though.) :(
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 07:07 am (UTC)I have got to a point where I'm resigned to it, really. I'm not emotionally mature enough for a relationship (even without the lack of interest) and I'm sure as hell not having sex without one, so.
And then there's the whole girl option, of course, which is so very full of grey areas; nothing I've done there counts as sex, to my mind. I have learned that my categorisation of such things is not always the same as others'.
... :D?
Sorry. TMI? XD
no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 05:17 pm (UTC)Here are a couple of interesting articles:
~ one discussing emotional well-being as tied to sex (http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/11-9-2001-5985.asp)
~ one that talks about the anti-stress properties of Oxytocin, "the bonding hormone" (http://www.reuniting.info/science/oxytocin_health_bonding) -- and I quote: "Oxytocin is the reason why people with pets tend to recover more quickly from illness, why married people tend to live longer, why support groups benefit those with cancer, addictions and chronic disorders, and why care-giving primate parents, whether male or female, live longer than the non-care-giving parents." Not exclusively sexual, of course, but definitely there in a relationship.
~ and one on the release of Endorphins during orgasm (http://www.sex-ed101.org/articles/sexual_health/female_orgasm.html).
Getting yourself off relieves stress, is healthy, causes pleasure that you control, and teaches you about your own body and responses. I find it easier with a nice little vibrator, but there are women who swear by "a date with Indiana Index".
I hear you about relationships -- I'd like my first time to be with someone I love, certainly.
And the whole girl option? I am so there. I've given up looking for Prince Charming, and am now looking for my Soulmate, whatever gender or orientation he or she might be in this lifetime. :)