Everyone thinks I'm madly successful. I've gotten through this far in academia -- years and years of college and grad school, with more years yet to go -- and I keep feeling like a fraud. Like I'm not an expert in my field, like I don't know anywhere near as much as I ought to know, like I'm only pretending to be the brilliant scholar and someday people will find out how much I don't know.
The truth is I really don't think I'm a fraud, if I really go through and list what I've done and what I've learned. I'm just terrified that I am. If that makes any sense at all.
It's common. Like I say. You can list off why you deserve it, so it's just common or garden paranoia. Tell your subconscious to stop being Arthur Dent or you'll bulldoze its house. :D?
There's a name for it, in fact -- "Imposter Syndrome". It's particularly endemic to graduate and postgraduate students. Google it, you'll be surprised!
(I, and nearly everyone I knew in grad school, felt this way.)
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2006-11-29 08:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 09:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 09:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 09:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 03:28 pm (UTC)(I, and nearly everyone I knew in grad school, felt this way.)
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Date: 2006-11-29 03:37 pm (UTC)(not the original commenter, but thankful nonetheless!)
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Date: 2006-11-29 03:38 pm (UTC)I'm the original poster
Date: 2006-11-30 10:02 am (UTC)That's kind of freakily validating.
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Date: 2006-11-29 03:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 03:57 pm (UTC)